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October


Repeat. Saturday October 29, 2016

I was trawling through previous blogs over the years (yes it was a quiet day in my shop) just to remind myself what I and other people had written about so I would not repeat myself. I always have this desire to write about something fresh but in reality there is 'nothing original under the sun'.

Why do we have this desire to be original when what we can offer is a different perspective our own personal way of viewing things. Also at Moodscope where people come and go, the audience changes so messages need to be repeated. I am sure I repeat anecdotes, ideas, and opinions in my blogs and I am never sure why some people see this is a bad thing.

As I get older my family is often complaining I repeat myself at times because I forget to whom I have spoken about some family news. So I either tell one person twice or forget to tell someone.

Why are some of us afraid of repeating ourselves? I suppose it is seen as a sign of losing one's memory if one is always repeating oneself.

Repeating in poetry is a literary tool as it used for emphasis. Some of the most quoted lines of poetry involve repetition.

I am often defensive when my family or friends point out they have heard it all before.

I wish I was confident enough to say "Yes I may repeat myself, but I thought it was worth hearing again."

Do you comment on friends or family who repeat themselves?

How do you react when people say you are repeating yourself?

Leah
A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Hopeful One Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 7:23am

Hi Leah- an interesting blog. Yes why do we repeat things? Usually it's one way of committing things one's long term memory. But once that is done I think a psychological reason takes over.i think we do it because it subconsciously means something to us emotionally and in repeating it we reinforce that in our minds lest we forget. Its irritating to others if they have heard it before because it does not mean anything like it does to oneself. I pay attention to what people repeat as it often gives me a clue of what matters to them most revealing past hurts, losses, hopes and identifying something they wish they had but can't have for all sorts of reasons.

Today's endorphin squirt .

If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise.
They would have eaten the snake instead of the apple!

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 9:42am

Hopeful One, Thanks for your comment. I like the fact you listen to what others repeat so you get an idea of what matters to them. That is such a kind thing to do and a way not to be worried about reptition.

the room above the garage Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 2:09pm

Agree wholeheartedly with HO. And it's particularly useful if we know what we repeat as (HO said it) we can identify what matters most.

the room above the garage Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 2:15pm

Loving today's offering HO!!

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 8:56pm

Yes Hopeful one has definitely made a point here that I will take on board.

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 8:57pm

ratg, hopeful one, Do you think that there are jokes you can here many times but others once is enough??

Mary Wednesday Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 7:41am

My friend Raz has an eidetic memory. This means he remembers *everything*. Completely, accuately and word for word. Not only does he remember that I 've told him something before, but when and where. I used to find it humiliating, that he had remembered and that I had forgotten, but now laugh about it. We both know I can never lie to him - he would just catch me out!

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 9:44am

Mary that is a lovely anecdote.Raz would keep me on my toes!!

Eva Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 8:25am

HI Leah, interesting to hear your perspective, a different take... My mum repeats herself, she tells me the same recent news over and over, partially its because we meet regularly at her request and need, so there isn't always enough new news to fill the encounter, partially its because she must talk to fill the gaps and partially its because I don't speak to fill the gaps. I can tolerate it when I am well, but under pressure and ill it irritates me beyond belief. When in deep grief I had no time for surface chat filling up my poor broken mind, so I really resented having to listen at all and mostly just turned off.

When I was young she used to knock on my door to tell me to get up, I had an alarm clock and have always been an early riser so I found this immensely irritating I was up! I didn't need to be told, I couldn't get her to stop, it didn't stop until I left school. Now her repetitive behaviour brings back the same irritation which I also felt at the time was a lack of faith and trust in my ability. I hadn't ever slept in so I couldn't understand her perpetual need to carry out this behaviour.

The repetitive behaviour these days serves to remind me that I am meeting with her out of duty, I'd much rather be elsewhere than listening to the same stories over and over. But I love her and she needs me so I do it and try not to remind her that I have heard this all before. Wow I sound so selfish, but that's the truth of the matter. Repetition is a sore point for me, I don't tolerate it well.

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 9:48am

Eva, it is also interesting to find out how you view things. I can see repetition to you represents an annoyance with your mother. There are always two sides to every situation.

Jul Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 9:01am

Hi Leah. Your blog made me smile. I think mother/children relationships can irritate as Eva says especially when one sees them regularly. I felt for Eva but let's not forget those who get irritated by a mother repeating things she said only a short while ago, will grow old and may find the same process happening all over again, this time with the daughter the one repeating herself to friends etc or her own offspring. It doesn't always come with old age either. And why may I ask is it mainly mothers who are the butt of sarcasm and irritation from the children? Is it because women do all the talking in an effort to be friendly and bridge silences? Of course men do repeat themselves but maybe only to partners. Not so much to children. It is still the case that, although there are many many exceptions and wonderful sons who care for their parents, that women do most of the caring. Even in the 21st century! Anyway Leah, thanks for your blog. You are such an interesting person, that maybe those who criticise are trying to find ways of putting you down, and the fact is you probably don't repeat yourself that much anyway! Julxx

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 9:51am

Jul, Thanks for your kind words and thoughtful comment.I think it maybe more about the relationship between people than the actual repetition itself. I am not that interesting really.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 10:55am

Leah You are interesting! I often find that blogs that are sparking my interest turn out to be written by you. And I can generally work out that it's you before I see your name. Jul you may have a point about women more often being in the sorts of roles and situations that encourage repetitiveness than men but I am pretty sure that my husband repeats himself far more than I do. He has some very entertaining stories but he does tend to forget who has heard them before. Love TF x

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 10:59am

I sometimes think it is a matter of age not gender as to how much we repeat. When I was young the thought of anyone telling the smae story twice would annoy me. NowI do it I want people to be patient. Tutti thanks for your kind words.

LP Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 11:27am

Hi Leah,
I'm starting to be very aware that I can't remember who I've told which stories to and often find myself saying " I don't know if I've said this before.." or "Did I tell you that.." in the hope that the person might indicate if I was repeating myself!
My kids find it highly amusing when my parent retell the same jokes and amusing or cringy stories! I just let them do it as they seem to get so much pleasure from doing it! It irritates me that my mother automaticall dominates all conversations by repeating her take on things when we have all heard it all before. My dad barely gets a word in and sometimes I have to literally stop her so that I can hear what he has to say! Thanks for a great blog Leahxx

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 8:50pm

LP, thanks for your comment. I think I embrace the fact that I will repeat a story to my children and I also say "have I told you .." before I start a story!

Frankie Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 9:59pm

Me too LP! And thank-you for your comment yesterday. Frankie

LP Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 11:31am

Ps thanks for the wonderful comments yesterday. Was a very busy day, so I wrote replies today.xx
Hi ratg and Bear hugs. Xx

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 8:51pm

Your blog generated great comments LP. Always great to read other people's experiences.

the room above the garage Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 2:14pm

Hello Leah, I loved my granny repeating herself. And when it was once pointed out, she stopped saying one thing in particular and did we miss it!!! The phrases she repeated come to me daily and I find myself including them in my words ...it keeps her with me. I'm very happy to hear repeats. Like Fawlty Towers :-) Thank you Leah, love ratg x. p.s. my autocorrect keeps changing my name to 'rather' or 'raft', it's the simple stuff that makes me laugh :-)

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 8:54pm

Ratg, Thanks for your reply. It is funny that when someone rpeats something a lot on TV it becomes a 'catchphrase' and goes into popular culture!! When a older relative repeats it can be seen as annoying. I like the way you see your granny's repeating words as a delight and something that keeps you close to her. Autotext is another story and either makes me laugh or frustrates me!!!

The Gardener Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 5:04pm

Lots of thought provokers above. I know I repeat myself - try not to - because I suffer acute boredom and embarrassment when I'm on the receiving end. My poor old Ma was dreadful - never certain if she did think much at all - or where she lived in her mind - I never remember her having an original thought - she would agree with everybody - even in subsequent statements were totally opposite. Poor Mr G suffered dreadfully from my 'snake' stories. It was written in my DNA that being terrified of snakes I'd see loads. We'd be at a dining table full of people, several conversations going on. If I was telling 'snake stories' to my neighbour the whole table would fall silent - people agog to hear somebody who'd actually nearly fallen over the damned things, AND been stung by a sting ray when on a near desert island. Our neighbour was a notorious bore - in fact, I think we were the only people who took him on eventually. One very serious aspect is that repetitiveness in one who was usually very articulate can be a sign of serious deterioration - and wants monitoring as tactfully as possible

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 9:06pm

Gardiner, Thanks for your comment. I suppose your last sentence is something that has worried me but I dont think I was ever articukate and maybe have always repeated myself a bit.

John Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 5:51pm

Hi Leah et al, thanks for the post and commentary. I've begun to feel differently about repeats when I'm doing creative work. Just read a book for theater directors on _How to Read a Play_ by Damon Kiely. Some of them read the playscript five times before they cast and work with their team. And Helen Hanff said most people read 50 books once, she read one book 50 times over her lifetime. And Nora Ephron would write her essays and articles by using her very fast typing skills. She would write up to where she felt stalled, then start typing it again from the beginning and retype up to where she was in the hope the momentum would carry her forward.
I'm doing the national novel writing month (nanowrimo) for the first time to dash off an essay draft. Would Nora's strategy 'count'?
John

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 9:12pm

John what a fascinating reply. I think it is interesting how in some areas reptition is important, I think Nora Ephron's strategy would work for some people. All the best with national novel writing month I tried to do it last year for the first time and only manage a bit over a third of the words but november is not a good month for me. I started of full of enthusiasm and a plan but I ran out of steam and life got in its way!! Was an interesting experience may do it again one day but in a different month! I am thinking it must be a very long essay!!

Frankie Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 10:12pm

Oh Leah - maybe it's age ... I find myself repeating stories and anecdotes more and more! No idea why ... When it is pointed out to me, I apologise and shut up! Frankie

Leah Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 10:15pm

Frankie, I dont thank you should apologise or be quiet but I know I tend to do the same thing. Do you repeat yourself when you are stressed and tired? I do.

Frankie Sat, Oct 29th 2016 @ 10:29pm

Interesting question - not sure - no, not when stressed or tired; maybe when lacking in confidence and seeking validation ... Frankie

Leah Sun, Oct 30th 2016 @ 1:26am

Thanks Frankie- an interesting answer. I can relate to the seeking validation and seeking to be listened to and not dismissed as just me ranting on again!!

Nicco Tue, Nov 1st 2016 @ 11:26pm

I get fed up with having to keep repeating myself! My husband's getting hard of hearing but won't admit it. It drives me to distraction. However, I am obviously guilty of repeating myself without knowing it as I am often told, "Yes, you've said that before". Hmm! Thanks for an interesting blog.

Leah Mon, Nov 7th 2016 @ 1:45am

Nicco, A hard of hearing partner, friend, or relative especially when they wont admit it, is very frustrating. Especially when they say it is you that is not speaking clearly!! Thanks for your reply.

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