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I shall perfectly be perfect! Friday December 30, 2016

I will try my best not to grump about the New Year! I secretly quite like it really. It's a chance to feel fresh. Spring isn't that far away, lighter days are really happening, if not thoroughly apparent, and if you mark January as the beginning, then we begin again, clean slate. Anyway, back to The Joy of Grumping! The two main parts I don't like about New Year are (a) alcohol and (b) resolutions.

I had my battle with alcohol some years ago and I won. I am extremely lucky as I caught myself before I stumbled too far down a path. I can now enjoy a glass of something and leave it there. Two glasses on a special occasion. This was my goal. And I haven't wavered. I know I will never go back because I have had some deeply stressful times, many lows, many challenges, many opportunities and I am simply changed. My reason for putting alcohol near my mouth is now completely different.

Then we have resolutions. Also known as The Guilt Trip. Resolve to be picture perfect, stress-free, sugar-free, alcohol-free, exercise adoring, fresh air breathing, nutritionally balancing, family orientating, charity volunteering, save the world-ing and otherwise be like Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama in a Baywatch beach scene.

The connection between (a) and (b) in this season is that everywhere we look and listen we are surrounded by them. The programmes, the offers, the jokes, the cards, the expectations, the conversations, we are bombarded. So please, you decide. You decide whether to be whirled up like a Yule log and carried along with the icing sugar or whether to step out, switch off and enjoy your personal choice. There is no right or wrong. It's more concise than that. Its personal.

There. Grump over. Thank you for travelling with me this past while and may we keep walking together through 2017. I may need your hand to steady me as I balance over the stepping stones and my hand is there for you. Be well.

Love from

The room above the garage
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Night Owl Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 12:29am

Thankyou ratg!
I find resolutions irritating and also tantalising. (And alcohol too, I guess... tantalising to let my hair down and be jolly, irritating in the after-effects of what daft thing I said or how its made my head feel.)
I have a big project (cupboard room I just mentioned in reply to y'day's blog) to tackle... and to try and avoid clutter-bug/exhaustion habits that have led to a room full of struggle.

I am reasonably well, relatively speaking. And a major source of medical stress is passed, at least physically.

'Project thinking' and bitesize chunks is what I'm going to try, rather than making resolutions to break.

Yes, secretly, RATG, I like a fresh New year to think about!
(Even the possibility of earlier nights!! ;-)

Anonymous Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 7:04am

Great post!

Lou Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 7:14am

Oh, RATG you do have a wonderful way with words! :)
I don't think you are being at all grumpy; it can be very difficult to go against all those expectations and make the choice that you know is best for you. Been working on it for some time myself!:) A peaceful and relaxing New Year to you and all Moodscopers. Even if that is a little early ;)

A View from the Far Side Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 8:43am

I'm not sure where the grump was. It seemed like a useful analysis of the impacts of (a) alcohol and (b) unrealistic new year resolutions. ;-) I very much enjoyed your turn of phrase - never thought I'd see the Dalai Lama and Baywatch mentioned in the same sentence.

LP Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 8:48am

Lol! It made me chuckle too! :)

LP Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 8:46am

Hi ratg,
It's good not to have to worry about resolutions. I like that new year fresh start feeling too. It's usually more powerful than I expect which works for me and I can just let it happen.
It's a relief to know that it's all there, that I can trust the process by trusting myself without resolving to do anything, not just in the new year but in life. Thanks for your blogs and your hand ratg. Mine is there for you and all too.
Love and lightness LPxx

Orangeblossom Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 9:03am

Your blog, which I always enjoy reading, made me smile. Bite-size pieces enable me to take a day at a time, reduces stress & any anxiety. May I take the opportunity to wish all Moodscopers a continued Joy, Hope & Peace associated with this Festive season. Look forward to continue reading the blogs. Love & affection

Jane Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 9:37am

I loved this RATG. And my hand is at the ready...just in case..! X

The Gardener Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 11:04am

Thanks RATG. Glad you are under control alcohol-wise. One of our sons was alcoholic - worst possible thing for a mother to watch a child self-destruct - ruin his family, lose everything. He dare not touch a drink - he is very clever, now studying for a PhD - but, suffers depression still and a perfectionist - not an easy mixture. Resolutions? No way. All I WILL do is look at the scenarios which are destroying me and bend my mind to improving matters. Looked at my diary this time last year - so grim. This year (perhaps New Year one a bit early) was to firmly put Mr G into respite - gone in this morning - so I can celebrate with YOUNG friends and quietly take stock when I am no longer exhausted. Have a couple of great ideas. One 'resolution' is improve on my communications. Because Mr G knocks the neighbours up if he forgets where I am I must ALWAYS put a notice in the kitchen window. He will not leave me alone when with him - I crashed out in bed for over an hour on Wednesday - woke to find the neighbour standing at end of bed. Mr G had rushed to them in a panic and posted me 'missing'. I wish we could all, here, stand round in a circle and sing the Old Year out - and not with 'Old Lang Syne'. Suggestions? My first thoughts 'Abide with me', 'Onward Christian Soldiers' 'Oh God our help in ages past'. All a bit morbid.I think I've got rather a good Blake quote 'To see a world in a Grain of Sand, And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand, and Eternity in an hour'. Perhaps that could be a message/warning to those who make impossible resolutions - look to the small things. X

Milliecat Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 11:30am

Hi there RATG - thats a fab blog - thank you!! No alcohol here either having learnt the hard way...and as for Resolutions...well, some i like and some i loath...but if it is to resolve to be kind to myself more and pick the most expensive cake and not the 'value' one once in a while, well i might just do that...Wishing you a good New Year and one in which i look forward to reading more of your brilliant blogs x

Mary Wednesday Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 11:54am

The Dali Lama and Mother Theresa in a Bay watch scene! I'd pay money to see that! No resolutions here, apart from to go out with my husband more.

Dolphin Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 12:49pm

A great blog and I bet the Dali Lama would giggle at the thought...(not so sure about Mother T)!
As to resolutions, I've started refusing to make them. I've tended to see life as linear, where I rush to the next deadline/s and then start again. Always a goal to reach. Always a new resolution to strive for.

This is not good for me and my stress levels. It reinforces my perfectionism and I am too busy and driven to smell the flowers. I am trying to see life more as a river with me in the flow and I can swim or float (or sink!) depending on how I negotiate the current. In this light, I want to see each day as part of a flow rather than seeing the future as a series of steps I have to take to the next goal. (sorry for the mixed metaphors)

On second thoughts, maybe that is a resolution in itself!!

A peaceful new year to all of you with thanks for the community xx

Lexi Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 1:40pm

I loved this post RATG. Thank you for making me chuckle and think, all in the same space. I do worry that I am heading down the wrong path with alcohol. I have had too many regrets thanks to it. So I do have some intentions this year, one being to consciously uncouple myself from my wine. And going out and drinking is never a good idea for me. I did in fact make several intentions in other areas. I actually enjoy looking back and seeing my growth and changes. The alcohol one will be hard for me at first. I would love to know how you approached it. Happy and healthy New Year to you RATG and all my moodscope family!

Molly Fri, Dec 30th 2016 @ 4:23pm

I struggle with wine too, it's the only thing that makes me feel half sane. Temporarily of course. No new year resolutions for me as I just want to get through another day and don't think enough of myself to put the issue right. But good for you Lexi for addressing it and to RATG for overcoming it. Good wishes to you all xx

LP Sat, Dec 31st 2016 @ 12:01am

I'm sad to hear that Molly! I get that you just want to get through each day. Or not really wanting to make changes enough to do anything about it. Or that you feel stuck in a comfort zone maybe. I just find it hard to hear that you don't think you're worth feeling better or well, that it doesn't matter if you suffer. Everyone matters! Your well being matters, maybe it just seems hard to improve. There are people on here who have experienced struggling with alcohol (wine seems to be an issue for women especially) and found a way out. You may not be ready to change anything now, but why write yourself off? Never say never! Maybe it was an off-the-cuff remark that I've completely over reacted to! I hope so and that you can be kind to yourself in different ways. Or maybe not and it's none of my business! Just didn't want to ignore and will stop rambling now! LPxx

the room above the garage Sat, Dec 31st 2016 @ 9:36am

Sorry I didn't reply yesterday, and thank you for sharing your comments. Lexi, maybe I could blog on approaches...if not, I can drop Caroline an email for you on what worked for me. The crux of it for me was understanding the 'why' I was drinking. After that, I had to build changes that would take that reason away. I changed everything. It was very stop-start but determination comes into play here. A wiser person than me said "to make that change you must be sick and tired of being sick and tired". Love ratg x.

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