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Give me a break... Friday April 25, 2014

Last week, travelling across London on the underground, somewhere along the way I managed to lose my photo ID and wallet. Not my actual train ticket but nevertheless a real pain to replace. As quick as a flash I reverted to (my) type and started ruminating and criticising myself for being so disorganised, how I wish I was different and how this doesn't seem to happen to anyone else but me.

This is always followed by focusing on other anecdotes and instances where I have let myself (and others down). We all know this is text book 'black and white thinking' that happens when we are feeling particularly low and it can be very difficult to brush aside and move on.

But in this particular instance, I wanted to put it into some sort of perspective so thought I would do a bit of digging.

There are some 35,000 bags, 12,000 umbrellas, 27,000 phones and 11,000 keys left on buses, tubes and trains in the UK every year as well as more unusual items like a marionette puppet and a relative's ashes!?

The moral of this story is that the everyday occurrences that can send the more vulnerable types into a tail spin happen to an awful lot of people who don't suffer from a mental health condition.

Black and white thinking is very destructive and needs to be kept in check and put in perspective as much as humanly possible. My token bit of research instantly normalised the incident and I was able to stay on a steady kilter. Stuff happens to everyone, very often and we should always keep that firmly in mind. It's all about giving ourselves a break and believing that we like everyone else deserve it...

A Moodscope member.

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Anonymous Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 7:22am

Interesting, thanks Damian

Anonymous Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 8:18am

Really needed to read that today.thankyou so much for sharing! I will be re-reading that a lot i think! Thanks again.

Eurik Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 9:32am

Damian, it's good you found a way to not beat yourself up over it, especially since it probably was just some mean wanker picking your pocket, not at all uncommon in London and you're most definitely NOT to blame.

Anonymous Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 9:37am

Keys, money, plastic cards all symbols of a basic distrust - to lose them is surely
an affirmation of ones HUMANITY. If and when one ' loses ' patience, compassion,
and maybe tolerance ( which I DO often ) then perhaps one must truly be worried !

heather Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 10:56am

But still don't blame yourself TOO much. STUFF HAPPENS. We are too often the blame takers.

Anonymous Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 11:08am

That is exactly what place I am in today. Black and white thinking and struggling to see the real colours.

Lex McKee Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 12:08pm

Thank you Damian - having had a troubled night with bw thinking, I can resonate. Life really is most often a continuum, and grey and colour all play their part in balancing the way we see ourselves and others. I can't seem to find the 'off' button but perhaps I should be looking for the colour-dial instead.

Anonymous Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 4:28pm

Thank-you Damian - so true; black and white thinking - yep; so easy to do; so hard to remember that STUFF happens! Frankie

Richard Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 6:42pm

Damian. This is a useful blog. Thankyou. Imagine 12,000 umbrellas moving from person to person.

Anonymous Fri, Apr 25th 2014 @ 8:38pm

Thankyou nice reading ;) yes black and white thinking is a pain and it is nice to know I'm not alone.

Anonymous Sun, Apr 27th 2014 @ 9:29am

im abit late in reading this but it was a good and interesting read so thank you for sharing :)

it is very easy to beat yourself up when something you do doesnt plan out the way you wanted it too

Anonymous Sun, Apr 27th 2014 @ 5:27pm

I'm wondering how many of those umbrellas are mine. Seriously - say at least one every other year [more in a bad year] .... over 30 years = less than 20 .... not so bad after all then!

Thanks for the blog.

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