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October


Fly away poisoned parrot – with thanks to the moodscope community. Saturday October 1, 2016

Remember Leah's blog about Dr Seuss? Lots of you who commented keep helpful quotes. I've often seen this suggested to help when you're low but I never quite managed to get started. Until now...

The blog and comments helped me realise what was stopping me. I was afraid it wouldn't work for me and that when I was depressed my favourite quotes would seem meaningless like everything else. So I commented on the blog asking whether quote collections really helped. I was very touched by the number of responses I got and the stuff people chose to share. Thank you all so much. (Sorry for my slow response on the day.)

So far, I've bought a pretty notebook with coral on it (I like the sea and it will be nice to see something pretty when I'm down). I've made a mind map of categories and quote ideas and I've started writing them up.

I started with 'Fly away poisoned parrot' and copied a picture of a flying parrot underneath. My counsellor gave me a worksheet in which you imagine your inner critic having no more validity than a parrot. The sheet suggests putting a blanket over the cage to shut the parrot up but I think it is more fun to tell the parrot to fly away.

Next the Bible, Zephaniah Chapter 3 Verse 17 and Joshua Chapter 1 Verse 9; the Desiderata (thanks Room Above the Garage) and the Dr Seuss big bat quote (thanks Leah) – and a big bat picture to make me laugh.

I had a couple of rubbish days earlier this week (too much work, too little sleep etc). I wrote the Desiderata into my book on one of those evenings and felt a bit better.

That's got to be worth it so thanks everyone for getting me started.

Tutti Frutti
A moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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Comments

Andrew Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 6:47am

Brilliant idea TF! And well done you for not only thinking you 'should' do it, but actually doing it! And what is more, sharing it with us.... thank you. Go placidly! And as I said yesterday, if you aren't feeling up to seizing the day, hold it gently by the hand and, together, enjoy the bits you can.... the rest can just fly away!

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 8:39am

Thanks Andrew. I am pleased to have finally got over the inertia and into action on this. And I love your idea about holding a day gently by the hand. Some bits from fellow moodscopers may just make it into the book. Love TF x

Orangeblossom Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 7:17am

Thank you Tutti Frutti. Loved your blog which I found inspiring and helpful. For your encouragement. You felt the pain but did it anyway!" This is the advice from the Mindfulness course that I took in the summer.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 8:43am

Wow Orangeblossom I don't often think of myself as inspiring and helpful. Glad you got something from the blog and thanks for the quote. Thanks love TF x

Duma Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 7:58am

Hi Leah.

What an excellent idea, a form of affirmation - auto blogging, if you will.

Here's mine:

My favourite line in the Bible - where Jesus, HIMSELF, speaks of the next guy. The next 'pearl on the chain'.

John 5:43 - "I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him."

Cheers, Duma.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 8:55am

Thanks Duma. As a Christian I love to see which bits of the Bible others find inspiring. I cut the actual verses from my blog as I haven't written for moodscope before and I wasn't sure how strict the word count was but for those who are interested, here they are: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you. Zephaniah 3:17 (And no I don't know my Bible well enough to know Zephaniah well but I found this verse in a religious mindfulness colouring book 'live loved'.) Love TF x

Duma Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 9:27am

Sorry for mixing you up with Leah, Tutti Frutti. d'Oh!

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 2:40pm

No problem. 1) I didn't notice and 2) if you mixed up my writing with Leah's that's quite flattering.

Leah Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 9:09am

Tutti Frutti,
Thanks for sharing your journey of trying something new. I an glad I played a small part. I sometimes find that sometimes little sayings I hear people say can also be useful. Can be from real life or moodscope or even conversations overgead on a bus!! Well done, Leah

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 11:38am

Leah Thanks. Don't underestimate your part in getting me started. I absolutely agree on not just going for the famous and erudite quotes but taking stuff from people we know or come across. One I like is something a former line manager said to me which was along the lines of "remember if we all work ourselves into the ground and drive eachother to drink the client gets nothing". Love TF x

LP Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 9:26am

This is one of my favourite quotes:

"When a flower doesn't bloom,
we fix the environment in which it grows,
not the flower."

Alexander den Heijer

Jul Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 9:57am

Really lovely LP. Thank you for telling us. Julxx

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 11:42am

LP A great quote, particularly for those of us prone to thinking everything that goes wrong is somehow our fault. Thanks love TF x

LP Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 5:33pm

Xxx

Brum Mum Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 10:50pm

LP, I love this quote and it brings to mind the orchids in my shower room. When my best friend went to Hong Kong to live, she gave me her orchids. They had no flowers on but I have discovered that they love the damp and heat in that room. Definitely a case of finding the right environment!!

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 11:57pm

Brum Mum Excellent I can just see those orchids now. Love TF x

DAVE Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 10:00am

Hi TFI,
Thank you for you timely blog, is very expressive,

For those interested golfers, cover your balls (golf balls) with the word BIPOLAR, practice your driving, and when proficient, send each into oblivion.

The alternative is to cover the balls with a name of the person who constantly pulls you down, whether family or friends.....Best drive of all send them packing ! ! !

Remember what we absorb, through reading, others opinions, what we see, what we hear, whether kind, or unpleasant, we can all turn the 'off switch', OFF,

BUT if you can't or won't, stop grumbling about your lot, and just carry on taking abuse.
Remain beneath the power of those whose sole purpose is to control others....
Whether colleagues at work, family, friends, strangers. We are all born equal in life, and as such we are known personally by God.

If you have a relative or someone who makes you feel inferior, you can usually tell the second that you set your eyes upon them, by their facial expressions, or mannerisms, if you practice looking at everyone you meet, you will be in a position to know how to handle or approach anyone ! !

So if your Mother Father, or siblings or others consistently give you feelings of inadequacy upon their first few words, or their expression, WALK AWAY, saying, "Oh I see you're in that mood" I'll com back another day.....WALK AWAY and DON'T LOOK BACK ! ! !....

To CONTEND with these persons, will take you down to their Childish level.....Rise above pettiness and keep your self-control by YOUR EXAMPLE, you'll quickly discover that others will become more in tune, and will show the respect, love, and kindness to which your manner has now attracted.

These persons will soon get the message, and what is MUCH MORE 'you'll be in control' and you will NEVER put your neck on the block ever again ! !

I know it works and what self confidence it produces from within, I have got myself in order, before I can help those whose 'hands hang down'.

IT starts the process of getting other facets of our lives in ORDER, and under YOUR control.

It is the most wonderful change in our lives we can make, it changes our attitudes and ATTRACTS the kind of people who want to be with and love YOU for YOU.

BUT Always remember to LISTEN, or your TONGUE will make you DEAF.....Old Cherokee saying.

Love
Dave X

Duma Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 10:38am

Thank you Dave, I have parental problems - nothing I have done, in my life was real, and I did it wrong, too. DEEP DENIAL.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 11:44am

Dave Thanks for your comment. I like your golf idea but I am afraid I might need quite a lot of practice in order to be able to carry it out. Love TF x

Jul Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 10:01am

Here's my favourite quote. 'I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other' Rainer Maria Rilke

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 11:46am

Jul Thanks. A lovely quote. Love TF x

Hellyblossom Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 10:07am

Tutti Frutti

I am so pleased to hear you are finding quotes helpful and love the parrot one, which I have now added to my list. This is something that works for me, although not all the time. As you say, sometimes nothing works, but one day it presses the right button.

As you have shared some of yours, I wanted to share some of my sources for changing that mindset in the moment....

I use the Headspace App which is a meditation/mindfulness app. As well as daily reminders to do your guided 10 minutes practice, you can enable the app to send you mindful quotes that pop up on your phone during the day. If you have a phone, you could try this to complement your notebook? Today's is:

'Every act of generosity reminds us that we come with nothing, we leave with nothing, that resources are here to be shared and not owned.'

The other thing that works for me, is an idea that came from my lovely best friend. We are both mums and she has teenage children, whose behaviour she describes as being like that of Dementors, particularly during the school run. We are all huge Harry Potter fans, so if you aren't familiar with the books or the films, this will sound like nonsense. Dementors are the baddies in the stories who suck your very soul from you, draining you of all sense and feeling. Doesn't this sound like depression??!

So, I have expanded this theme to include the spell Harry Potter uses to defeat the Dementors - "Expecto Patronum". When I get overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings that are draining me of my very substance, I get out my imaginary wand and expel them like Harry Potter did in the stories.

Good luck with your journey.

Hellyblossom
Xx

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 11:58am

Hellyblossom Thanks for the ideas about setting the headspace app to provide quotes. I didn't know it did that. Your Harry Potter images made me smile. I am a big fan as is my teenage daughter. She doesn't seem to have entirely hit the "dark tunnel of adolescence" yet though (Lauren Child in Clarice Bean books) so not often a dementor. Expect Patronum definitely needs to go in the fly away poisoned parrot book. I think I am going to need to work out a picture to go with it and to be true to the books it will need some happy memory prompts around it! Love TF x

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 12:04pm

Ahhh auto correct messed up the spelling of the spell. Rest assured it will go in the book in proper dementor fighting style. TF x

Hellyblossom Sun, Oct 2nd 2016 @ 8:33am

Hi TF It has made me feel warm and happy that you liked my post and that I may have helped you a little. Thank you for replying. Look in Headspace settings for 'mindful moments'. Enjoy xx

the room above the garage Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 11:14am

Hello TF, I echo the others...fabulous that you have done it! And yes, that IS inspiring to others :-) I see us as walking the hills and sometimes you throw out a hand to someone wobbling as they cross a stream and other times, they steady you. I frequently hear "everything is unfolding as it should" from Desiderata. For me, it's rich with fruits. I'm pleased you like it too! Thank you for this today, love ratg x.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 12:01pm

Thanks for your part in getting me going RATG and for this hills and streams image. Love TF x

Mary Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 12:49pm

Thank you for that picture,I got it about the parrot and I like when people mix bible with therapy. I also have a diary too in which I started to put it on my little victories. Well, then another one to put the thoughts not positive.Nice post.

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 1:35pm

Hi Mary. Thanks I'm glad you liked these images. I get lots of ideas and help from you and the other regular bloggers so it's nice to be able to share some ideas with you all. Love TF x

Tutti Frutti Sun, Oct 2nd 2016 @ 12:09am

Oops I think I may have muddled you with Mary Wednesday. Sorry for that and I do appreciate your comments. Love TF x

Mary Tue, Oct 4th 2016 @ 11:11am

No problem, and I like this blog so much :)

The Gardener Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 7:02pm

Love the blog - and the reply about the flower not blooming. As a gardener it is so to the point - you can give a plant all the TLC possible (you probably paid a lot for it as well) if it's in the wrong place it might live, but not thrive - ditto people. They need cultivating as well. We've got the annual fair in town - all day people have been coming in - thanking me for all I do for the town - my neighbours and their kids are trying to clear their rubbish, like me - it's a glorified car-boot sale. We've got to know each other better. My inviting people into my garden on market mornings for years - and that I did complicated flowering of the whole facade of our historic house - people would make detours to see it. The blog, I don't write down quotes - enough bits of paper floating about already. But book of quotations always to hand. I find I think too much in cliches - often there is not alternative - that's why they're cliches.I don't think I am very devout - but, glancing through quotes from the bible so many of them are precepts which we follow having no knowledge of the source. We have a most erudite monk/pries who explains, with great excitement - parts of the bible - he numbers all other religions among his friends. He is a 'good' man in all ways. He taught me to have a great affinity with St Paul - I feel we would have got on well - both travels, and both pretty irascible at times. The quote I would LIKE to live by is from Walter de la Mare 'Look thy last on all things, lovely, every hour - let no night seal thy sense in deathly slumber etc etc. I like using the Harry Potter ideas - casting out demons - I was on a radio programme with an exorcist once - did not think they existed!

The Gardener Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 7:34pm

Thinking of 'covering the parrot up' if noisy, or part of shutting up house for night. At night I try to think of one nice thing (more if possible) that I am able to do on the morrow. My poor husband has not woken happy for the last two years, I have to transcend that to cope with the day. I am currently re-reading 'Just William'. Has fiction ever created a greater optimist? He bounces back, from the most awful retributions, undaunted, ready to do good deeds or vanquish his enemies (all schoolmasters, fierce spinsters, his brother and sister).

Tutti Frutti Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 7:54pm

Glad you liked the blog Gardener and that you found another quote for yourself here. I will look up that Walter dear la Mare quote. I also find fiction helpful when a bit down. My go to is the Blandings books by PG Wodehouse. Love TF x

Mary Wednesday Sat, Oct 1st 2016 @ 10:14pm

Sometimes words are all I have to cling to (as you know). And again and again I come to Gerard Manley Hopkins, "Life death does end and each day dies with sleep." That may sound a bit glum, but for those of us who regularly long for death as for a lover's embrace, those words bring quite a bit of comfort.

Tutti Frutti Sun, Oct 2nd 2016 @ 12:07am

Mary Wednesday Keep clinging onto words and whatever else you can use to get you through the dark times. The Gerard Manley Hopkins does sound a rather glum form of comfort to me so I think you may be in need of virtual hugs. Go gently with yourself. Love and hugs TF xoxo

Sophie Wed, Oct 5th 2016 @ 9:12am

'To plant a garden is to have faith in tomorrow' - love that one :)

Nicco Sat, Oct 8th 2016 @ 6:52pm

Thanks TF and what a great idea. I was given a lovely blank book and have been wondering what to use it for, and now I have found the ideal thing and am very excited about it. As ever, I also love Dave's comments. I'm not good at golf and would probably need a lot of balls (in both senses!) I like your idea of putting a cover over the parrot or telling it to fly away. A therapist once told me to pull the blind down or shut the curtain but putting a cover over a belligerent parrot or telling it to take to the air and fly off is much more fun! My parents used to have a parrot - it used to belong to my brother who couldn't look after it so he gave it to my mother. When they first had it they had to be very careful who they invited to their house as its language was extremely colourful which, of course, my brother found very amusing. All three are now gone, my mother, my brother and the parrot, but I still have some good memories which I prefer to remember rather than the bad ones. Thanks again.

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