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Abigail and Sarah. Tuesday August 22, 2017

My daughter has two soft dolls named Abigail and Sarah. Her brother picked them out for her in a shop in France when he was aged 6 and she was just 6 months old. He insisted that she had to have them both and he named them.

Since then Abigail and Sarah have always been my daughter's most prized possessions. They have gradually gone from their original soft lilac and pink colours respectively, to being covered in patches of pinks, purples, flowers and hearts. Abigail used to rattle but, having been crushed at some point, an operation at the Teddy Bear hospital only restored a faint sound. Sarah used to have a loud squeak but, after being run over by a car, now only squeaks quietly. They have both been lost, (the anguish), and then found, (the joy), more than once. They now stay in the safe haven of my daughter's bedroom and are still hugged every night and loved more than ever. In spite of being far from their original glory, to my daughter they are the most beautiful things in the world.

You may have been crushed in your life. You may have lost your squeak or rattle. You may feel that your original colours have faded. I wonder though have you patched yourself up or been patched up? Do you feel loved? Can you see that whatever life has thrown at you that you are still here, in all your glory. You are the most beautiful being in the world.

Sending you love today.

Jane SG
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.

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Molly Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 1:00am

A beautiful blog Jane, I think I have mentioned before about my bunnies, which I called Silky Ears. I have four of them in their different stages of their lives. The first one is very crushed. They were replaced when the ears fell off as I just wanted to play with their ears. Someone suggested a while ago that I take a photo of them all, it might even have been you, I cannot remember. I didn't realise how significant it might be. I am feeling rather sentimental now and I might get those bunnies out tomorrow and post a photo of them. The last one of my bunnies looks pretty good, he still has his ears left. Molly xx

the room above the garage Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:08am

Hello Molly, I hope you might stumble upon a book called Tatty Ratty, about a girl called Molly and her favourite toy...a rabbit. I read it over and over to my children when they were wee :-)

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:39pm

Dear Molly, thank you for your response. I would love to see a picture of your bunnies. Xxx

Molly Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:43pm

Hi RATG ! How coincidental ! Maybe it was all about me :-) !! Thanks Jane, I might have to make it into a blog, as I don't think there is a way of posting photos on comments. I have some ideas, inspired by your lovely blog xx

Molly Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 7:25pm

What did David say about my bunnies? Because I have an email notification and would prefer to read what he said rather than it be removed.

Molly Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:55pm

Jane, I have got my bunnies out !! Only can imagine David's comment must have been rude but it wouldn't have bothered me. Blimey we are all adults. Anyway, I have something to admit, I have five bunnies and not four !! Maybe I missed a part of my life there !! But I am going to prepare a blog about my five bunnies and include a photo of them :-) xx

Jane SG Wed, Aug 23rd 2017 @ 12:35am

I look forward to seeing your bunny blog Molly ;) xx

Molly Wed, Aug 23rd 2017 @ 1:26am

Thanks Jane xx

Daisy Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:49am

Lovely blog. Thank you for posting the picture of the bunnies. I think I will take a picture of mine. They have been with me through so many things and never let me down. Beautiful

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:42pm

Thank you Daisy, I'm glad you liked the blog. I'm really glad you think the dolls are beautiful xxx

Ach UK Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:57am

What a lovely Blog Jane. Thank you.
Ach. - . .Reconstructed, propped up, still here. :))

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:43pm

Thank you Ach! Glad that you are reconstructed, propped up and still here!!! Xxx

Leah Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 7:14am

Jane I like the Lovely photographs they make the story.
I am like my teddy- the stuffing has gone ,the joints don't work but I am still cuddly and lovable and my head is saggy.

The Gardener Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:30am

Leah, you raised a sympathetic smile, on a beautiful morning - trouble free run getting Mr G to respite - 7 hours to spend as I like! Thinking of you as Spring approaches on the other side of the world. Love xx

LP Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:34am

Ahh! I'm glad to hear that TG. Enjoy your day, LPxx

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:44pm

I love your description Leah. I'm trying to picture a saggy head!!! Lots of love xxx

ED Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 7:52am

Thank you Jane. Love to you too.

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:45pm

Aww thank you ED. This is very much appreciated xxx

the room above the garage Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:09am

Jane this is a breath of fresh air and I'm so glad to read it particularly since I'm feeling more than jaded and faded at the moment! :-D Thank you, love ratg x.

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:15am

Dear Jaded and Faded/aka RATG! Hope you will enjoy the benefits of this beautiful breath of fresh air today :) lostalotofstuffingBear.comx

LP Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:30am

Hey ratg, Big cuddles to my ratg doll!!! LP xxx

LP Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 9:05am

Ps I just replied ( or rambled!) to your last blog xx

Tutti Frutti Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 9:46am

RATG Sending very gentle hugs which will not risk fading you further. Love TF xoxo

Lexi Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:00pm

RATG I'm in the same boat as you today. May we find some time to refresh today! xo Lexi

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:46pm

Dear ratg, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling jaded and faded. I hope the kind comments here for you have helped to lift you. Hugs to you and Lexi xxx

the room above the garage Wed, Aug 23rd 2017 @ 12:25pm

You're all so lovely, thank you! I'm just a bit exhausted trying to keep up with my children's lives through the holidays and, at the same time, missing the days when they were smaller and the holidays meant we ran as a pack and did whatever we felt like as a wee group. They all do different things and I feel I'm in a whirlwind. And the holidays are almost finished so there's regret in there too. Nothing a bit more self care couldn't fix!! Thank you everyone, I feel I've been hugged and cared for, love ratg x.

Anne Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:13am

A timely and beautiful blog. Inspiring me to do some patchwork on myself today rather than look at the amount of stuffing knocked out of me...

Thanks Jane...a beautiful picture too x

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:47pm

Thank you so much Anne. I'm so glad it has inspired you. I hope you are now feeling more patched up xxx

S Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 6:35am

That's such a great quote for the moment in mental health you turn the corner. may I quote you on that Anne? The stuffing thing.

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:19am

Hiya Jane!
What a fabulous blog with an even more fabulous picture if the cutest dolls. As everyone says it's a beautiful blog and great picture of love and cuddles.
I've lost stuffing over the years but am glad that some of it is because I've been loved and cuddled too!

LP Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:32am

More hugs from me to Mummy Bear! :) xxx

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:50pm

Dear Bearofliddlebrain, thank you so much for your kind words. I love your description of having lost stuffing over the years because of being loved and cuddled. You are very loved by the Moodscopers xxx

LP Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:27am

Hi Jane,
The image you have posted perfectly illustrates how life can knock us, fade our sparkle, but how that can make us even more treasured and loveable.
It's great that posting a visual is also available as a way to express ourselves.
It's also great that technology can bring people from all over the world together.
Thanks for a wonderful and uplifting blog Jane.
Wishing light and love to all, LP :) xx

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:52pm

Thank you so much LP. Reading these lovely comments is beginning to make me feel a little more loved and treasured. I'm so glad you found it uplifting xxx

The Gardener Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:37am

How absolutely charming, and SO evocative. I've abandoned my chores, because as I put the glasses for Sunday's Pimms away I looked at my greatest treasures - no great value (I think) but a childhood reminder. They are a set of Japanese porcelain, hand painted, so fine you can see through them. My parents had an awful marriage, but hatchets were buried for my Birthday and Christmas. We used the front room! A fire was lit, and the china came out. I've puzzled and puzzled about its provenance. Only solution, it was a wedding present to my father from the London department store where he worked in the china department. In the same cabinet are a series of Bavarian cups, saucers and plates, all individual. My father bought them for me 4 at a time (just after the war, when tourists could only take £50 out of UK. The real significance was that my Pa, a most difficult man, realised my love for beautiful china and glass. It's all housed in a beautiful glass fronted cabinet made by Mr G's father (he was a schoolmaster, carpentry a hobby) - and in our new house these delightful memories are deliberately placed facing Mr G's armchair where he spends most of his time.

Lexi Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:02pm

That is so lovely, TG. I felt like I was there, gazing upon your lovely china as well. xo Lexi

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:53pm

Thank you TG. I love your family stories and history. So many objects have stories to tell don't they. I hope you enjoyed your 7 hours respite today xxx

Mary Wednesday Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:55am

I read this blog just after reading my daily meditation from Richard Ruhr (for anyone with a Christian faith I would wholeheartedly recommend his meditations which are free). It made me cry a little. We are just like these lovely dolls and the more loved for being loved. This is one of the most beautiful blogs I have ever read. Thank you.

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:54pm

Mary, I can't tell you how much this means to me. Especially coming from an experienced blogger like yourself! Thank you so much, this helped make my day xxx

The librarian Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:57am

Dear Jane,

Thank you for a lovely blog. I was most struck by what a lovely elder brother your daughter has! I would have loved to have had a younger sibling to lavish love on but I am the youngest.

I didn't have one particular toy that I was attached to when I was little. I used to cuddle a very uncomfortable torch because I was frightened, and at one point I had all my toys in bed with me - I used to put my arm around them all because I couldn't bear the idea of any of them being left out or getting cold and frightened next to the wall.

Today, I don't feel well-patch - more as if my squeak has been squashed, my stuffing has been removed and my rattle doesn't make any sort of effective noise.

And love seems an impossibility - giving or receiving.

All the best to you.

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:57pm

Dear Librarian, thank you for taking the time to comment. I don't like the thought of you having been frightened as a child. I'm sorry you've lost your squeak, rattle and stuffing today. As for love, yes sometimes this is challenging. I hope though that you have received my love to you today. Take care xxx

Molly Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:49pm

Librarian, I used to do that as a child, I took all my dolls and cuddly toys into bed with me and made abkind of tent under the covers and made sure they were all safe xx

The librarian Wed, Aug 23rd 2017 @ 12:06pm

Thank you, Jane - that's really kind of you. And I'm glad you looked after your toys too, Molly. When I was twenty-five I bought myself a teddy bear (who appears in human guise in my novel) and I now can't sleep without him! And I still hate it when people are left out - I'll always spot the person on the sidelines and try to make sure they're included.

Molly Thu, Aug 24th 2017 @ 6:32pm

I am the same Librarian ! Although I have to admit, sometimes I just want to be left alone and watch without participating :-) Your teddy bear sounds a good comfort and a good friend xx

Tutti Frutti Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 9:44am

Jane I loved your blog particularly the picture of the dolls and finding out that those gorgeous patches are actually repairs that have been needed over the years. I had a soft mouse along the same lines when I was little who I think eventually pretty much disintegrated from over cuddling (but there was no parting of the ways until I was old enough for this not to cause a major trauma). The mouse was a birthday present when I was 3 or 4 from some friends (twins) who I went to play group with. The school system then parted us as we lived on opposite sides of town, but there was only one high school in town so we met again at 13. We still all liked eachother although I had much more in common with one of them than the other and she and I were very much in the same group of friends for the next 5 years. 30 years later I am afraid I am no longer in touch with anyone from school (my school friends weren't the tightest knit group and I as the swatty one was included but a bit on the edge. I have a lot more friends from later on.) Last I heard the twin I was friendliest with had become a farmer and I think her sister went to study dance at college. Thank you for your blog. It was just what I needed since I am feeling jaded and faded and in need of patches too right now.
Love TF x

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:01pm

Dear TF, thank you for sharing this story. I find friendships can come and go and just one or two stand the test of time. I've made closer friends as an adult than I did as a child. I hope you have been patched up a bit today. Sending you a hug xxx

Orangeblossom Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 10:05am

Hi Jane SG, thanks for a lovely blog which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Yes, I do feel loved and accepted most of the time.

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:59pm

Thank you Orangeblossom for your kind response. I'm glad you feel love and acceptance-two lovely, powerful things xxx

The Gardener Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 10:16am

My Pa always gave me books - I never remember a cuddly toy. But animals made up for it. His business was importing foreign birds, (illegal now). When I went into aviary or birdroom a bird would hop on to my shoulder and accompany as I fed the others and changed water. There is a picture of me, aged about 14, hugging a toucan. I tamed many members of the parrot family - raised their value, Daddy never paid me a percentage either. Current cat turns herself into a tippet.

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:01pm

What a great experience. My daughter would love to cuddle a toucan!! X

Valerie Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 10:25am

What a lovely start to the day.The dolls look so adorable,can almost reach put to snuggle them.Maybe the lesson is that however patched in mind and body,we are still loveable and deserve to be treasured.

I will keep returning to this photo-thank you! xx

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:03pm

Thank you Valerie for your lovely response. I love how you sum up 'however patched in mind and body we are still lovable and derserved to be treasured.' You words have helped me today -thank you xxx

Ach UK Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 10:51am

Thank you Caroline for swatting the mosquito.
Can breath better now. What lovely responses to a great blog.

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:04pm

I admit my day got off to a bad start when I logged on this morning but all these fantastic, lovely responses have more than made up for it and restored my faith. Thank you Ach xxx

Angela Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 12:51pm

Thank you Jane this spoke to me. Feel so battered by life that I could do with being put out to grass. Coming on here and seeing all the familiar names feels like a comfort blanket and also that I am not alone just because I live alone. Hugs everyone x

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:06pm

No you are not alone Angela. The Moodscope support is always here. Sending you a massive hug in the hope it may help you find a small rattle or squeak xxx

Lou Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 4:54pm

What a really lovely blog! It really struck a chord. Thank you.

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:07pm

Thank you Lou. I'm so glad it struck a chord xxx

Lexi Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:07pm

I read this blog this morning as the last of my family finally left. I am lying on my sofa feeling like the stuffing has been beaten out of me and not feeling very beautiful at the moment. Your blog was so poignant Jane. I loved the message of love, not only for the bunnies but for all things worn and battered. Xo Lexi

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:08pm

You ARE beautiful Lexi, with or without your stuffing. Be kind to yourself. Hugs xxx

Geoff Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:12pm

A lovely, uplifting blog Jane. Thank you for sharing.

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:08pm

Thank you so much Geoff, this means a lot to me xxx

Dragonfly Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 5:16pm

This is lovely, just beautiful in its simplicity and resonance with many of us x

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 6:10pm

Thank you Dragonfly, I'm so glad it has resonated with so many Moodscopers today. These dolls mean the world to my daughter, and to me, and I am looking forward to showing her everyone's kind responses when I get home. Thank you! Xxx

hilary Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:29pm

Dear Jane, I loved your blog, so beautiful! Thank you. Hilary

Jane SG Tue, Aug 22nd 2017 @ 8:43pm

Thank you so much Hilary xxx

Tychi's Mum Thu, Aug 24th 2017 @ 8:19am

Hi Jane SG, I really can't express my thoughts any better than Dragonfly, beautiful, simple and with so much resonance.
Thank you so much.
Your blog is now saved as one of my favourites and I will be returning to read it over and over.

Jane SG Thu, Aug 24th 2017 @ 9:17am

Thank you so much Tychi's Mum. This is really nice to hear. Take care xxx

S Sun, Aug 27th 2017 @ 6:43am

I got a huge hole punched in me and stuffing started falling out when my father left me. Again when my grandfather died and again when my godfather who raised me died when I was about 13 and had just come out to him, though he took it well, he died right after. It always left mee with holes where I'd trail my stuffing all over my life but use knowledge and learning to filli it up at a rate to keep myself with enough wits to be functional.

People stop asking how you feel if they know they'll get a lecture on the physiology of emotion.

A day came this year where I looked at all the stuffing and almost threw it away, ran away and started a new life, knowing no one, telling no one where I'd gone. I so almost did it, I packed and all. But no, this stuffing was far too valuable to me, even if some wasn't too good for me. It was a part of my life and I had the right to enjoy carrying it forever, cause no one else has that particular piece, and i should be grateful that unique experience is mine. :)

Recently though, my stuffing is beginning to pour. My family are worried about my mental health, an last time they tried to get me sectioned for refusing to move in with them for their supervision. It makes completely fresh stuffing all thee more appealing. Someone once asked me to do that - drop everything start again somewhere brand new a completely new life, and I actually would have, though it was a flight of fancy for them. But ever since, the discoloured stuffing is looking more and more offensive to my perfectionism. Even if he doesn't, I know others who would happily run away to a farm with me and live milking cows for the sheer heck of it.

I'm rambling, but my point is old stuffing or new? We get choices to throw it out, or keep? I made an archive of everything to do with my old life and I'll give a copy to a trusted friend to be given to people who shared in that life if they want one day, but it releases me from seeing the media in my iphotos every day inadvertantly and feeling the remorse of that particular stuffing, since no matter how well I could bleach it now, so many attempts to fix it in the past have made bleaching impossible to consider.

Jane SG Mon, Aug 28th 2017 @ 5:36am

Hi S, thank you for sharing this. I wonder if by running away we would take all stuffing, and lack of, with us. Maybe it's what we do with it if we keep it that matters? I don't know. I like the idea of being loved inspite of it. Something that I often feel continues to allude me. I often feel I give too much for little return. I hope you get better understanding and support S than what you described about your family. Hugs to you. And thank you for your feedback, I was starting to disengage with the site. My paranoia can be my own worse enemy X

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