Moodscope's blog

30

October


Thoughts in a malestrom. Sunday October 30, 2016

Faster and faster...

Looking around
everything blurs
laying in bed.

Faster and faster...

Lying in the middle of a maelstrom
trying to get hold of a friend
but I just pull them down.

Faster and faster...

Where does it go?
When will it stop?
Will it destroy me instead?

Faster and faster...

Hoping for some certainty
a fraction of security
a tiny bit of love.

Faster and faster...

Refusing drugs to slow it down
feeling alive while close to death
waiting for the crash.

Slower...

This time I got out
panting, but alive
how long can this go on?

Slower...

I have analysed myself
tried to prevent things like this
none of my dams have held.

Slower...

Where has my discipline gone?
Should I embrace my mental chains again?
Can I ever feel emotion, intimacy, love?

Slower...

Freedom may be too dangerous
though it is only freedom of mind
the feeling thrills but is threatening.

Slower...

I patch up the wreck of my battered mind
setting sail again
seeking the next cliff to shatter on.

I shout out LOUD
THIS IS NOT GOING TO TAKE ME DOWN
IT IS FEEBLE, WEAK AND PUNY

I WILL PREVAIL
AM GOING TO BEAT IT DOWN
AM RESISTANT, HARD AND CAPABLE

A sound ship again
the HMS Me
I come out of the storm.

Richard
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


Permalink  |  Blog Home

Comments

Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 23 comments so far.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

We exist to help people to positively manage their moods. You can contribute by taking the test, sharing your experience on the blog or contributing funds so we can keep it free for all who need it.

Moodscope® is © Moodscope Ltd 2018. Developed from scales which are © 1988 American Psychological Association. Cannot be reproduced without express written permission of APA.