26

June

The first step…

Friday June 26, 2020


I have had bi-polar for many years, officially diagnosed in 2003. I have been on various tablets, none have really worked other than to lead to weight gain which has caused another stress but that’s a different story. I have been refused counselling twice, however I am lucky enough to have a brilliant wife without whom, well who knows, but my life is far better with her.

The problem with bi-polar is that you can talk to experts, friends, fellow ‘sufferers’ but at the end of the day you have to come to terms with it yourself and find the right coping mechanisms yourself.

I teach for a living. I train people with their own horses and thoroughly enjoy my job. I am reasonably successful which means I can be busy.

So how can someone, who has been in some very dark places be busy and successful with work. Its two fold: The love of my wife, my best friend, who I would do anything for. She gives me a reason. The second I have found is that the more I teach it almost makes the brain tired and the effects of the bi-polar diminish. When I have driven say 1 hour each way and taught for 6 hours straight my mind, more often than not is more at peace.

On the dark days, when it would be easier to hide, I know I have a reason and a mechanism. I cannot just tell myself it’s going to be ok, just like you cannot tell your mind to relax – you have to think of something that is relaxing. So in the case of bi-polar, you will have depression, mania and some degree of normal time. In that quiet time find a reason, find a mechanism and then on the dark days take that first step...

Simon
A Moodscope member.

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