Moodscope's blog

14

October


Playing the 'Hostile' Card. Monday October 14, 2013

Here's the fifth in the series of excellent blogs by Lex covering the adjectives on the 20 Moodscope cards. Please don't forget we'd love you to add any ideas, tips, insights or advice you may have that you'd like to share with other Moodscope members that might be of help. Please add them to the comments at the end of this post. Many thanks. Caroline.

Today, it's the turn of the 'Hostile' card, which Moodscope defines as, 'feeling unfriendly towards others.'

The root of the word is strongly associated with Latin and Middle French for 'belonging to an enemy'... however it is also related to 'guest' in its original meaning of 'guest; enemy; stranger'. Perhaps this root can help us. There is a natural, even sensible fear of 'strangers' and that which is 'strange'. This fear puts us on our guard, and thus we appear and often are 'unfriendly'.

When life is tough, we can sometimes begrudge others their apparent happiness. They are 'outside' our circle of experience. When others are joyful and we are sad, it seems so unfair. All too easily, this can begin the slide down into the unfriendly territory of hostility. We can snap at them, and treat them as a 'hostile'! Clearly, most people in peace-time are not hostiles. Perhaps then we can turn our own hostility on hostility itself. If 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' we could see fear or jealousy or bitterness or disappointment as the real (root) enemy, and transform our opinion of others and their good fortune. It can even come down to something as simple as assuming the best intention behind the behaviour of others - the so called, 'benefit of the doubt'.

With a little bit of emotional alchemy, we can usually find something fascinating or charming about others. It is then a matter of fighting hostility on two fronts – appreciating our new 'friends' so that we become outwardly more friendly, and turning the strength of our own hostility on hostility itself.

In my experience, emotions often follow behaviours. If we behave in a friendly manner towards 'strangers', any sense of hostility towards them diminishes, and the victory over hostility is assured. By welcoming others to join us 'inside' our circle, we can often be delighted by the gifts they may well bring with them: laughter, joy, insight, kindness, and friendship.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment on our Blogspot:

http://moodscope.blogspot.com/2013/10/playing-hostile-card.html


Permalink  |  Blog Home

Comments

Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 12 comments so far.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

We exist to help people to positively manage their moods. You can contribute by taking the test, sharing your experience on the blog or contributing funds so we can keep it free for all who need it.

Moodscope® is © Moodscope Ltd 2018. Developed from scales which are © 1988 American Psychological Association. Cannot be reproduced without express written permission of APA.