Once Upon a Blue Moon. Sunday February 4, 2018
In this moment, it all feels blue.
Sad. So sad. Sorry for me.
That feels so wrong.
Like we're not supposed to feel sorry for ourselves.
Well in this moment I do!
It's not pity. I know my worth. It's self care.
Sometimes it's just one thing after another. Bam bam bam!
Sometimes. Not all the time.
Is it my negativity attracting bad things to happen all at once?
Like a negative magnetic field or something?!
So many coincidences, me trying my best to do the right thing.
By family, by work by everyone.
Push myself to exhaustion. It's so late now.
I should be sleeping.
I had to clean up, at least the dishes, it was a mess down there!
This late night will have an impact on my mood.
I have been tearful from lack of sleep.
Too busy to eat properly. One glass of wine.
Comfort food, you know how it goes, just to make me feel a bit better, a bit cared for. Comforted.
Just as a one off...
Yet in this moment as I write my thoughts I know that it has to get better.
It's fear of it continuing that feels so bad.
The winter doesn't last for ever. Spring will be in the air, there'll be a spring in my step, I'll feel inspired by the sun. That's how it goes!
My mind and body are flashing warning signals at me.
Top up fuel! Top up water! Slow down or pull over to rest! It's dangerous!
Yes you want to get back to your responsibilities, not fail, not make things worse, hold things together.
But if YOU breakdown you'll have to call for assistance anyway!
So pull over. For as long as it takes for the old engine to cool down.
Rest. Top up the essentials.
That talk today did help. Took me out of myself. It was soothing.
See how it goes. Listen to your "Good Place" self. Bide your time.
It's ok to feel this way, it really is ok.
No better, no worse no judgment, it's a part of what is.
The universe naturally balances itself out.
It's a super, blue, blood moon don't you know! :))
It's epic and doesn't stay that way for long.
Tomorrow is a new day with infinite possibilities.
Sleep now my inner child,
In this moment I am here for thee.
This space is calm, it's quiet, no threat.
It's really peaceful here.
A Moodscope member.
Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.