Noise. Saturday June 3, 2017
I like writing and when I'm writing to clear my head I'm sometimes surprised at what comes from my fingertips and appears on the screen in front of me. I can read back the prose I have just written, only ten minutes after and it's like reading something for the first time. That was what happened when I wrote this piece. It was a moment of recognising the physical affects that depression and anxiety have on my body. It has been reassuring to hear other people feel the same sometimes, mental illness doesn't just affect your mind does it?
And Noise is back, it crept into Head in the night and on waking this morning it was there. It wasn't a surprise, I knew it was coming. It's polite enough to give some warning.
That creeping Unease is it's first contact. Unease takes residence in Chest, blocking breath and blood to Heart.
Heart palpitates like a knocking at the door 'Here I am! I'm still in here and I'm a little bit afraid!'.
Chest is so full that Breath is obstructed and Mouth and Nose can't provide their usual service, the doors are shut.
Meanwhile Noise is in Head having a good rattle around, getting into thoughts, causing disarray and obstructing the usual routines.
Eyes impart what is going on inside, the curtains have been drawn and the windows reflect back, startled at the change of residence.
How long will it stay?
I'd like myself back now.
While Noise and Unease are here, unwelcome guests in my house, I will be kind to Chest and Heart and Head.
I will try to nourish them and give them some peace and rest.
I won't make too many demands on them.
We'll try to keep to our routine and encourage Breath to help out a bit more. They won't stay forever.
A Moodscope member.
Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.