Do not apologise for crying. Saturday April 9, 2016
"Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots."
- Elizabeth Gilbert
"We need never be ashamed of our tears."
― Charles Dickens,
Not only do we often apologise for crying but we are called names like cry baby, sook, waterworks, and told 'you act like s man/woman', 'pull yourself together',' stop being embarrassing'. Big boys/girls don't cry', 'don't be so sensitive' 'what have you got to cry about!'
Why does crying have so many taboos, so much criticism, so much negativity about it more than most other emotions? What are we so afraid of that instead of comforting someone who is crying we try to stop them and make them better?
However hard it is for women it is much more difficult for a man who cries especially in public unless they are famous. Many years ago our Prime Minister cried as he told an interviewer about how his daughter had a problem with drugs. People still talk about it. It is also acceptable for sportsmen to cry and show emotion especially if they win. Crying when one has lost is seen as weak.
Why do we have such a problem with ourselves crying or with watching others? Why are we so intolerant of tears? What are we afraid of?
Tears can be very cleansing, while the continual holding back of tears causes problems.
Some people find it easy to cry whether they are sad or happy. Others hardly ever cry.
Once when I had spent a week with my mum who had dementia, I was frustrated, I walked outside into the garden and just started to cry. I must have cried for over 5 minutes, solid tears. I was crying for my mum, I was crying for who my mum used to be, I was crying for myself and many other reasons. The tears kept coming. When they stopped I actually felt lighter. Nothing had changed but I by crying I felt a little more in control.
What do you think? Should we apaologise for crying?
Are you someone who cries easily or do you rarely cry or somewhere in between?
A Moodscope member
Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.