Moodscope's blog

17

December


Is that you? Saturday December 17, 2016

Is that you I can see there sitting in the sunshine on the beach Hotel terrace with your friends, laughing and sipping your drink without a care in the world?

Is that you dressed in your cream summer jacket that I used to love you wearing.

Is that you?

Am I seeing someone who just happens to look like you? Same build, style of clothes, same smile and tilt of head when listening to the conversations around you.

Is that you?

I must admit I hadn't expected to see you again; it was rather a shock to say the least.
There is a hot, almost scarlet painful feeling that slinks up from my toes to the top of my head.

My heart is pounding and I feel suffocated for a moment.

You had said goodbye to me a while back, said you were moving on, it was time to go but obviously you must have changed your mind!

Is that you?

It has been so hard for me since you left, I have spent so many hours missing you and reliving all the memories of the years we had together.

It's never easy when it all comes to an end but you had made up your mind, chosen a sunny day in the spring and suddenly there was no longer any 'us' it was just me on my own, heartbroken, and you, well you look happy and seem to have found a new group of friends and are carrying on with it all.

Is that you?

Leaning across the table towards to that lady dressed so beautifully, she throws back her head and her laughter tinkles past me in the breeze, a perfumed delicate laugh that shows me you have truly moved on. I am glad you are happy.

I know I am staring and I know you haven't seen me.

I want to run over to you and throw my arms around you as I have missed you so much, but I know that would be so embarrassing for us all.

I have an idea, and without you even noticing I manage to take a photo of you sat there amongst the holidaymakers, now you are standing up and lifting your silk cap from the table as if about to leave.

As you stand time stops.

You are looking across the crowded terrace at me, our blue eyes are locked and the sun is so hot. The clouds have stopped floating, not a whisper from the crowd, the waves have frozen, the birds have stopped flying and everything is perfectly still.

Is that you walking away dad? You who left me in the spring when the daffodils were bright and summer was patiently waiting around the corner. Before you slipped away quietly in your sleep you had whispered goodbye and said that you had to go.

Is that you?

There is no photo no matter how hard I search, it's not there.

Is that you?

Please let it be you.

Jayne
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


Permalink  |  Blog Home

Comments

Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 18 comments so far.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

We exist to help people to positively manage their moods. You can contribute by taking the test, sharing your experience on the blog or contributing funds so we can keep it free for all who need it.

Moodscope® is © Moodscope Ltd 2018. Developed from scales which are © 1988 American Psychological Association. Cannot be reproduced without express written permission of APA.