Moodscope's blog

29

January


I am worth it. Tuesday January 29, 2019


I am learning to put a price tag on my own head. Yes. That is correct.

As an abused and otherwise neglected child from a poverty beleagured farming household; the "not good enough," message seems to have been singed deep into my spirit. Just like the cattle branding process.

Changes are occuring. Today, if you talked to me the way I sometimes talk to myself, one of us would have to leave. I am on the worthiness journey. The damaged child inside is realizing that she is valuable and deserves better than maltreatment.

There is a mixture of wounded pride and indignation that kicks up a fuss when something or someone insults me. How dare you. How dare it. I don't accept this. Do better by me or else!

Then when I am blessed by an event or kindness of another I am in a more difficult place minus the anger, still struggling to accept. It is hard to receive goodness. I want to. I might be worth it. I AM.

At fourty almost three years old, self esteem is overdue and one of my multiple battles. No one can perform this in my stead or hand me something to assauge the lack of positive self image. It has to be sourced from deep within myself, where the scars are.

I am worth rest when I am tired and friendship when I am lonely. I deserve respect and I will walk away from anything else. Self esteem is still such an unfamiliar concept that I ask myself what someone would do or say if they really cared deeply about me? And then I try and emulate their kindness. A sort of personal "W.W.J.D?"

Blessings,

Bailey
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to leave a comment below.


Permalink  |  Blog Home

Comments

Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 49 comments so far.

What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

We exist to help people to positively manage their moods. You can contribute by taking the test, sharing your experience on the blog or contributing funds so we can keep it free for all who need it.

Moodscope® is © Moodscope Ltd 2019. Developed from scales which are © 1988 American Psychological Association. Cannot be reproduced without express written permission of APA.