How fine is Fine? Saturday February 18, 2012

The other day, Stella (one of @moodscope's Twitter followers) made the point that all too often people say they're 'fine' in answer to the question 'How are you?', when they're patently not.

Not in the slightest, as a matter of fact.

One of the difficulties is that 'How are you?' has turned into a rather meaningless part of greeting people.

And just as it's polite to enquire after another's wellbeing, it's good manners (if a bit daft) to reply that all is okay, regardless of whether it actually is or not.

I don't think this is ever going to change, nor should it probably.

(If we all ran through our long lists of what's not so fine every time we were asked, we'd never get anything done.)

Better, maybe, to recognise that 'How are you?/Fine' is pretty much a perfunctory exchange but - instead - to properly burrow under the surface when you really do want to know how someone is.

Be prepared for the answer to take time though, and do make sure you're listening intently rather than just half-hearing.

Asking someone how they are, and meaning it, is a big action.

A good action though.

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