Hot Coals. Sunday April 17, 2016
Anger has always been behind my lows but I've been consciously determined to remain aware, alert, mindful and maintain my steadiness, allowing for small fluctuations.
Here are some of my more recent thoughts about anger.
Its natural to have feelings and to feel angry. I acknowledge it, but dont dwell on it.
When things went wrong for me in the past, I did dwell on it, always directed towards someone and eventually acted on it, usually when hormonal and stressed. A flash point where I expressed it, bluntly, damaging relationships in one way or another.
Anger is natural.
Responding angrily has never led to anything good for me. Using the energy to take positive action has, but often it hasn't been the deep personal anger that I can do that with.
Expressing anger in a safe and healthy way brings relief. If you are creative, musical or write, a trusted person who wont judge you, expressing it helps. I remain cautious though, about dwelling. Writing works for me. I blogged my rage in a Volcano metaphor on Moodscope as I thought there must be others who struggle with anger too. It was cathartic. It took me a while to get the courage to publish it. It was too raw at first. It was when I realised that it didn't define me, that I got some distance from it and let it go (to be published that is... maybe that was the point that I did "let it go") something that I'd been determined to hold on to as my only rock since childhood.
One of the recent thought for the day quotes "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Buddha couldn't be more true! It was not a rock, the "rock" was a burning hot coal. So the volcano blog helped me to drop that hot coal. It's as if my brain knew it was burning me, I felt the pain, but somehow the message "Drop it it's hot!" Couldn't be told to me, it had to be experienced and processed somehow before it registered.
I only very recently discovered that feelings come from thoughts. I am more mindful when thoughts arise and its not that I sweep them under the carpet, I just recognise them as being negative and unhelpful and choose not to repeat an old pattern. As Bear (x :)) once said when we are well these things are easier and a backup plan must be there for incase we're not.
By acknowleging the negative, repeated, 'hot' thoughts, which are there for a good reason and not my fault, I can PREVENT the thought from leading to the emotion.
Makes sense to me.
Is there a repeated hot thought pattern that you could drop "hot potato" style?
A Moodscope member.
Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.