Moodscope's blog

16

April


Hang On... Sunday April 16, 2017

Why am I stuck inside when it's such a sunny day out?
Why do I draw the curtains to block out the light?

Light that is so vital to me, Light in all rays of glory.
If I block out Light do I block out Love? My essence is muted yet present.

Now is the time to stoke the embers. Now is the time to Love.
Now is the time to Love myself first. Love myself first?! Love the worst?!

I am unworthy. I have no hope. Darkness prevails. Blinds sight.
Menacing thoughts run amok heedlessly ignoring my pleas for order.

Circling the drain, I peer down the deep dark tunnel.
That tunnel will suck you right down. Away Forever.

Terror jolts my very core, shock waves ripple forth.
Tsunami barrels down on me. I need a life preserver! How will I survive?

Curl up, bracing for the blow. Curl inside, deep inside.
Not too far... not too far... don't go too far. Come up for air.

It's okay to talk. How can I talk? Remember to talk. I need to talk!
Struggling, stuttering, I must persevere. Must Persevere. What Must Persevere?!

Love. Intrinsic Love. Love is my answer. I must act out of Love.
Love protects me and I inflict no harm. No heartache. No gut wrenching agony as the finality sinks in.

The final demise that causes such grief. The tortuous loss you've experienced but you must never cause.

Such anguish must not be repeated. Absolutely never be repeated... You vowed you would never repeat it... NEVER.

Break the cycle. Be strong. Hang on.
Because of Love, I hang on.

What strengthens your grasp as you hang on?

Maria
A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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