"Don't Go Changing, Trying To Please Me..." Monday September 19, 2016
Well, so sings Billy Joel!
With a little bit of 'artistic licence' there is a powerful message here for Moodscopers.
Trying to be 'all things to all people' can become a massive source of stress in our lives, upsetting our Moodscope balance. It's best for you to be you and for me to be me, and for us to work together – playing to our strengths.
Of course, I appreciate the tyranny of necessity – often we're the best person, or even the only person, to do the task that has to be done. So we become busy, very busy - too busy. Before we know it, there seems to be no time left for anything – especially ourselves.
The vision of the bold, independent, self-made person is a marketing fabrication – an unhelpful invention. Human beings have never worked, played, or lived in isolation. We have always been tribal. Yes, you can make it on your own, but it's the hard road.
Moodscope helps us get back to the tribe – the community existing for the common good.
But today, I'd like to encourage you to come deeper into the tribe and into the tribal way of thinking. You see, you are not great at everything. Yes, you might be good at everything, but you're not great at everything. Often it is better to find someone else in the tribe to do 'stuff' that isn't your core strength. Thus I return to Billy Joel. The message is, "Don't go changing..." Instead, "Find your place in the tribe and then work with other tribe members to meet your needs." Let them be strong where you aint!
This is a phenomenally freeing way to live. It frees you and me to focus on what we are great at, and it allows other people space to shine!
OK, the dominant objection to this is that folks often don't have the resources to get other people to help them. I would challenge that thinking and suggest that there are many ways to reward people for helping us out. Money, like the myth of the self-sufficient person, is an invention. It's an invention that works well, but it is still an invention – a currency. There are more currencies than just money. People have used shells as money; people have bartered – it's the principle of 'exchange' that is the key.
So could you exchange skills with someone to help you out? A job is an exchange of time for money, so how could you cut to the essentials and swap time for time?
My message is this: give yourself permission to be yourself and celebrate your key strengths. Give yourself the freedom to let go of some tasks that others could help you with. And in so doing, give others space to shine using their own strengths.
And, yes, this sometimes begins with you and me asking for help...
A Moodscope member.
Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.