16

May

"Doing the work"

Saturday May 16, 2020


A few years ago, I was bereaved by suicide.

Four things got me through that terrible time: God, dogs, my friends and Sertraline.

I joined a local group that supports people bereaved in this way, and found it hugely helpful. I was introduced to Moodscope. I attended a seminar on dealing with guilt, delivered by a fantastic counsellor. He talked about there being work to do when a loved one dies, in order to recover from the bereavement.

There have been estrangements from family, financial worries and health scares, but now, I'm in a happier situation than I have been for many years. I am fortunate: I do not feel guilt about the bereavement and I don't feel obliged to remain dutifully bereaved. I have moved on with my life. What is past cannot be changed. No amount of effort on my part will undo the death. No focusing of my thoughts on what happened will make any difference.

But – and here's the thing – I have to keep "doing the work". Some part of me is inclined to take my focus back to the suicide, the police, the legalities, the relationship before the death. But I can identify that this is what's happening, and "do the work" with myself to get back to now. I'm still here. I still have God. I have my dogs. I still have my friends, and I don't need the Sertraline.

The media recently reported the death by suicide of a well-known TV personality. It's a tragedy, and I suspect I know what it's like for her family and friends. But in the same week, a young man was killed in the storms. That's a terrible tragedy for his family and friends. Both of those deaths are very sad, and (arguably) could have been avoided. But they're not my tragedies. I don't need to ruminate over them. I don't need to give them my focus and my emotion. I can "do the work" to recognise the good things in my life. I invite you to do the same.

Mrs H
A Moodscope member.

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


Comments

Comments are viewable only by members. Register Now to participate in the discussion.

Already have an account? Login to leave a comment.

There are 23 comments so far.


What is Moodscope?

Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. If you’d like to receive these daily posts by email, just sign up to Moodscope now, completely free of charge.

Moodscope is an innovative way for people to treat their own low mood problems using an engaging online tool. Anyone in the world can accurately assess and track daily mood scores over a period of time. We have proved that the very act of measuring, tracking and sharing mood can actually lift it. Join now.

Blog Archive

Disclaimer

Posts and comments on the Moodscope blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. Moodscope makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this blog or found by following any of the links.

Moodscope will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.