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February


Confident Vulnerability. Friday February 12, 2016

Confident and Vulnerability are two words rarely seen together – almost an oxymoron for many.
 
How many of us, especially males, have been schooled to be strong, confident and of course, right!

This brittle approach is the downfall of many teams and organisations and of course relationships.
 
How many debates or even arguments have you had when you wanted to protect your ‘opinion’ or position?
 
The world is rarely ‘black or white’, or ‘right or wrong’… any wisdom (EQ), rather than cleverness (IQ) is about how we create synergy, where 1+1 = 5 or 10 or 50 where we simply find solutions that are better than either of us could ‘see’ together – what is sometimes called the ‘third way’…
 
Recently I came across some great research from Gallup which clearly showed, that the key for any healthy ‘organism’ (person, family, team, organisation) was the mix of confidence and vulnerability.
 
If you dislike the word vulnerability, check out Brene Brown’s work and her wonderful TED Talk – it was singularly the one word that separated those who thrived, in creating strong, effective and sustained relationships (Interdependence) and those who repeatedly failed!
 
Gallup’s research demonstrates that these two words used jointly, are THE key indicator of a healthy person (organism).
 
Here is a way to view this:

confidence vulnerability matrix
 
 
Looking at the diagram it illustrates that to be healthy and able to ‘accept’ a third way (Interdependence), we need both Confidence AND Vulnerability.
 
This is especially important in mental health where I happily talk openly about my ‘weakness’ and thus make it safe for others to show theirs – we can confidently share vulnerability!
 
I believe this sharing is what makes ‘we’ strong, rather than ‘me’ weak’ if I conceal.
 
Now, people may attempt to take advantage of that ‘weakness’ and you then know they are not for you!
 
As I have always said, ‘show weakness to gain strength’.
 
The world – OUR world – if it is to be healthy and sustainable, needs people who are going to be open and authentic.
 
Try it today, show a bit more of yourself to someone - be confidently vulnerable - and ‘feel’ what happens… then share this with our Moodscope community.
 
Lean into that discomfort, where all learning takes place.

Les
A Moodscope member

Thoughts on the above? Please feel free to post a comment below.


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