Jon's blog
17
May
Downside up. Thursday May 17, 2012
Years ago I took a copy of Betty Edwards' thought-provoking book 'Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain' away with me on holiday and spent many happy hours sitting on a sunny Greek balcony, running through its exercises.
One involved copying Picasso's 'Portrait of Igor Stravinsky', from an original printed upside down in the book.
Now you probably know this, but it's much much easier to copy something when it has been placed upside down (I'm told that it's a good way to forge a signature but definitely never did this to get out of cross country running at school - definitely).
When an unskilled artist draws, he or she usually fails to truly observe what they're sketching. The bossy part of their brain, which 'knows' what Igor Stravinsky looks like, takes over - resulting in a reproduction which would fool no one.
If the original is upside down, however, producing a copy requires intense concentration, and proper observation.
Now you may not be required to produce a work of art today, but I think a similar principle could apply if you need to think hard about something that's currently bothering you.
Perhaps the trick is to turn the problem upside down. Re-frame it. Look at it from another angle.
If it helped me draw like Picasso (well, a bit) who knows what it might do for you?
16
May
Bad habits. Wednesday May 16, 2012
Is helplessness a habit? Or a way of life?
In the 1960s psychologists Martin Seligman and Steve Maier discovered that animals placed in an unpleasant situation from which there was no escape would eventually just give up.
But then, when they were taken out of the first condition and placed in another from which they COULD escape, they made no attempt to do so.
Through conditioning they had learned to become helpless.
To cut a long story short, Seligman and Maier went on to suggest that learned helplessness is a state of mind which we humans may also slip into.
Faced with intolerable adversity it's sometimes the case that we want to curl up into a ball, wishing the world would go away.
Fortunately (phew) it's a behaviour that really doesn't have to be permanent, and rarely is.
A prolonged bout of feeling helpless may well turn it into a habit, but habits can be broken (people are able to quit smoking, right?) and whilst we probably can't 'unlearn' something, we can definitely replace faulty learning with something altogether better.
Sometimes it just takes a leap of faith.
15
May
Life coaching for caterpillars. Tuesday May 15, 2012
If a caterpillar had a life coach, do you think it would be pleased to receive the advice 'Be comfortable with who you are'?
After all, provided you avoid being squashed or eaten, you stand a pretty good chance of a brand new life as a butterfly. You'd want that, wouldn't you?
However whilst we humans would probably judge the butterfly as being superior to the caterpillar, who knows which is actually the better state for the creature itself?
Maybe being big, green and hairy and spending all day eating is in some way a happier existence than having beautiful, colourful wings which allow you to glide around from fragrant bush to fragrant bush?
The truth is, the caterpillar almost certainly has no idea of its forthcoming metamorphosis, and in fact this will probably only come about if it carries on munching.
Sometimes your life can take unexpected turns, but in the main I think there's much to be said for making the most of what you have today.
Let tomorrow take care of itself. (I hear the mulberry leaves are very good at this time of year.)
14
May
Par for the course? Monday May 14, 2012
I should imagine one way of improving people's success at golf would be to increase the size of the holes. The bigger they are, the more likely it is their ball would plop into them, rather like moving the goalposts further apart in football.
Intriguingly, however, psychologists at Purdue University in Indiana have recently discovered that better golf players appear to perceive holes as being larger than they actually are.
The research involved showing golfers a board with different size circles drawn on it after they'd finished their round, then asking them to indicate the one which was the size of those on the course (one circle was the same diameter while others were either smaller or larger than real life).
The better players tended to overestimate the size of the holes by between 10 and 20 per cent, and the researchers believe this may have led them to adopt a more positive mindset while they worked their way around the course.
It's probably fair to say that you don't become a winner in any sport by expecting to lose. Whilst I'm sure that being ridiculously over-optimistic can be self-defeating, it seems sensible to assume that it helps to adopt a positive attitude.
In life, as in sport? Go into today expecting it to be a good one, and it may well will be. Start off foreseeing the worst, however, and you might just be proved right.
Imagine being able to choose the kind of day you'll have. Just imagine.
13
May
A parrot and a shared smile. Sunday May 13, 2012
As a rule you don't see that many parrots on the London Underground.
Now I've seen pigeons get on at West Acton and off again at Ealing Broadway.
Parrots, though? No, not really.
However this is precisely what I spotted at Moorgate station the other day: a green parrot perched on the shoulder of a gentleman wearing a light brown raincoat (the coat was on the man, I hasten to add).
To be honest, man and bird looked quite used to taking the train together, but it was another thing altogether for us waiting passengers.
There were smiles and, dare I say it, some were even shared. That's another pretty rare site on the tube, people making eye contact with one other.
There may not be parrots all around us (OK, I'll make an exception if you happen to be reading this in the Amazon rainforest) but keep your eyes open and I'm sure you'll find a surprising number of small occurrences worthy of strangers exchanging a smile.
In the scale of things connections such as these are tiny. Tiny, yet surprisingly potent.
Connecting with others is good for us, and small connections can be just as much fun as the big ones. Often, even more.
Sometimes you've simply got to look for the parrot.
12
May
Boxing ring wisdom. Saturday May 12, 2012
Planning to say something about resilience, the expression 'roll with the punches' came to mind.
Now I may write (a lot) but sometimes I slip into using phrases without really stopping to think about them.
And when it comes to rolling with the punches, I guess I'd always had a picture in my mind of a boxer being punched down and (but why?) somehow rolling along the ground rather than just lying there.
Ridiculous, of course, and wrong. A quick check with the Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms, which of course I study every day over breakfast, reveals that the process of 'rolling' actually describes stepping back or to one side when you're under attack, so you never receive the full force of the blows.
Who knew? Not me.
We may believe that mental resilience is somehow all about being strong, about being tough, about being impregnable. But you can't always be like this, can you?
Taking a leaf out of the boxer's book, however, suggests the desirability of trying to be less affected by setbacks than you could be instinctively inclined to.
So when a friend pours out his woes, by all means listen and empathise. But don't load his worries onto your shoulders.
If you get caught in traffic, shrug those same shoulders and maybe see it as an unexpected opportunity to listen to some great music.
Sometimes being resilient is less about grim resolution and more about finding ways to avoid the full force in the first place.
11
May
Get a kick out of goals. Friday May 11, 2012
'A goal properly set is halfway reached.'
So says American author and motivational speaker (and splendidly-named) Zig Ziglar, and I reckon it's a pretty decent way to set about things.
What if you're going through a shabby patch though? Goals probably just seem like impossible dreams at a time like this.
Perhaps, however, this is because we confuse the big goals and the small. Knowing there's no way for us to meet madly ambitious targets, we abandon hope of achieving anything at all.
If your mood's low you're unlikely to move mountains.
But this doesn't mean that you couldn't shift a mole hill, and the feeling of re-locating ANYTHING on days like these can give you a splendid sense of achievement.
The trick, if there is one, may be to set yourself just a few (even one) small, short-term, realistic goals. Even doing the dishes.
Then give yourself a reward. Do the dishes, then watch TV perhaps.
Don't forget that, as Mr Ziglar says, simply deciding you're going to do it means you're halfway there.
10
May
Smilercise. Thursday May 10, 2012
Zumba sessions - or even rollerblading - instead of physical education classes for girls at school? This was the suggestion in a recent BBC News item.
Now I think, perhaps, news editors secretly love 'innocent' little stories like this, knowing full well that they're bound to get some of their more conservative readers spluttering over their cornflakes.
'Wouldn't have happened in my day,' they'll mutter. 'What the devil's wrong with a spot of good old circuit training in the gym?'
Among other things, however, according to the article girls can feel self-conscious about working out in front of boys, and the net result is that they're not getting enough exercise at school, which is deeply regrettable.
To my own disadvantage I know that hating physical education at school can lead to a lifetime of having to force yourself to get exercise.
So why on earth not make school PE lessons more fun, more enjoyable?
And in fact why stop there? How can YOU turn exercise into something that's more fun yourself?
Walk a dog (borrow one if necessary). Walk with a friend.
Play tag with a kid or two. Dance. Go for a bike ride (again, borrow one if necessary). Do half an hour's gardening (with a friend in their garden, if you like).
Even a few leg and arm stretches while you're watching TV can count.
Exercise is good for mind and body, and it's even better for the former when it's fun.
Meantime I'm going to start an exercise class where you dance and break plates.
It's called Zumba The Greek.
9
May
Time to give? Wednesday May 9, 2012
When you're computer programming, 86,400 is a familiar figure. It's the number of seconds in a day, and one (clumsy) way to find out yesterday's date is to subtract 86,400 from the date and time right now.
Perhaps it's intriguing to reflect on whether you believe 86,400 is a large or small number though.
A sum of money this big in most people's currencies would be rather nice to receive (not so great in Vietnamese dong however, 86,400 dong being worth a bit less than four dollars).
A crowd of people this size would pack most of the world's bigger sports arenas.
On the other hand 86,400 grains of table salt would weigh just under 7 grams.
When it comes to time, however, you might agree that 86,400 seconds does sound rather a lot. And you have this number of seconds handed to you on a plate, each and every day of your life.
So what will you do with today's 86,400?
And how many of them are you prepared to give to someone else? (Helpfully, giving it away doesn't actually take it away from you. It's one resource you can happily share without losing out.)
Giving your time is a great way to connect to others, and giving makes you feel fine too.
You may not have money, but you do have time. So give it today like there's no tomorrow.
Except, of course, that there will be.
8
May
A question of learning. Tuesday May 8, 2012
Every so often the newspapers feature surveys which suggest which professions people consider the most- and least-respected.
Doctors and nurses generally do well.
Unfairly however (but I would say that) my old profession, advertising, usually appears in the bottom ten. Along with journalism.
Now I guess you get used to the knocks, but I'm actually happy to count several journalists among my good friends and to a man and woman they're fascinating individuals.
They have stories to tell, which I suppose goes without saying, and you only end up in this position when you have an insatiable curiosity, an interest in learning, and a fierce determination to find out as much as you can about, well, just about everything.
Actually, being interested in all that's around you and having a burning desire to learn is a sure-fire way to boost your wellbeing.
And if you happen to be learning from another person, it's pretty likely that they'll get a lift if you quiz them like a journalist might, teasing out every little strand, and (really importantly) intensely tuning in to what they have to say.
So you both benefit.
Learn as much as you can today, unleashing the mighty full extent of your curiosity.
Go wherever it takes you.
7
May
What are you looking at? Monday May 7, 2012
Whether it's along a corridor, across a car park, or down a street, next time you're walking somewhere, try and be conscious of where your gaze is directed.
You could be surprised. We may believe that we're properly looking around us, yet often our focus is on a notional spot somewhere between the long-distance and the immediately-in-front.
In fact we're not actually consciously looking at anything, but are instead thinking through the stuff we have to do, conversations we've just had, or simply life's general hassles.
I bet you didn't do this when you were a kid though.
If there was a caterpillar to be seen, you'd spot it. If a woman with an unusual hair-do hove into view, you'd remark on it (probably a bit too loudly). If a dog was barking, you'd hear it.
Somehow as we get older we stop taking notice of simple things, and this is a pity because being aware of them can lead to little moments of pure joy.
As a child there were almost certainly times when you were giddy from drinking in fresh sights, sounds and smells.
How about trying to recapture these sensations today if you're out and about?
(If the woman with green hair is accompanied by a large gentleman with tattoos, however, perhaps keep your thoughts to yourself.)
6
May
Are you with us? Sunday May 6, 2012
Can you be in two places at one time?
Unless you're an expert in particle physics, it sounds far-fetched. It's one of those exasperated things we mutter when too much is expected of us, when we're already busy doing one thing and someone demands we simultaneously do another. Impossible. Infuriating.
Yet I reckon there is sometimes a way in which we can figuratively be in two places at once, and this is in those conversations where we're not listening wholeheartedly.
I say 'we' rather presumptuously but despite trying hard not to, I know I'm deeply guilty of it now and then.
Maybe you know the feeling. You're chatting to someone, but in fact it's all rather one-sided. They're doing the talking, so you find yourself drifting away, thinking about other things.
You're not really there.
It's easy to do. It's even understandable. But it's a sure-fire way to leave neither of you terribly satisfied by your exchange.
A conversation such as this doesn't really feel like a connection does it?
And that's a shame, because the true connections we make during a day build up to boost our mood.
Of course not every single conversation can be a deep and meaningful one, but perhaps you and I could aim to 'be there' a little more today?
I will if you will.
5
May
Reasons to be thrice grateful. Saturday May 5, 2012
Some say a prayer. Some worry if they locked the back door. Others just collapse into bed on the fast-train to Slumberville.
However (and although I know lots of people already do so) there's always value in reminding yourself of the power of thinking about three good things before you go to sleep each night.
Research has demonstrated that when this process is followed a little more formally (actually writing down three things for which you're grateful and then providing a causal explanation for each of them) the effects can be strong and long-lasting, increasing happiness and decreasing depressive symptoms for a remarkable six months.
I see no harm, however, in simpifying the procedure a little such that it can become your last-thing-at-night habit.
So, say one of your good things was that you had a great conversation with an old friend, the cause might be that one of you phoned the other out of the blue.
No need for any further analysis, because what's gone into your mental processing system is the idea that a moment of joy can come from simply picking up the phone, and once this seed has been sown you'll be more likely to do it again in the future. What's more, in the couple of seconds it will take you, you'll be powerfully reliving the moment minutes before you fall asleep.
And don't worry about the back door, by the way. I'm sure you locked it.
4
May
Brain strain. Friday May 4, 2012
Although psychologists label it 'cognitive processing', you and I may understand it better as 'knowing', including under its umbrella behaviours such as awareness, perception, reasoning and judgement.
Basically it's what you do when you make decisions, what you do when you think things through, and of course there's a lot of the latter that goes on if you're going through a rough patch.
Now one of the fascinating wonders of the brain is how much energy it consumes.
Despite brains (and feel free to skip to the next paragraph if you're just about to eat breakfast) looking pretty much like creamy grey ham when they're dissected, they burn up a disproportionate amount of power.
In weight terms your brain is the equivalent of about a bag and a half of sugar, accounting for only around 2 per cent of your body's mass, but it hogs a greedy 20 to 25 per cent of your energy.
It's no wonder therefore that what you call 'just' sitting and thinking can actually leave you physically exhausted, and this is a reminder of the importance of topping up your reserves with sensible, healthy food even when you may think you're not being particularly active.
You'll make better decisions when you're properly nourished.
Now then, about that breakfast.
3
May
The view from outside. Thursday May 3, 2012
Have you noticed that it's nearly always easier to solve other people's problems than it is to fix your own?
Invariably we see solutions when others describe their challenges. 'What ever are you worried about?' we think, in the near certainty that they'd be completely fine if only they would do x.
Why, then, is it a very different kettle of fish when the boot's on the other foot?
Why are we generally so slow to accept the fresh perspectives offered to us by a friend when we describe OUR dilemmas?
Perhaps it's because we believe their suggestions are too simple. Unlike us, they don't know all the facts.
Sometimes, however, being in possession of all the background knowledge can rob you of your power to take action. You can end up over-complicating the situation with the net result that you do nothing.
Now I'm not suggesting that we should blindly adopt every suggested solution that comes our way, just that it may pay to consider them a little more seriously.
It's surprising how often the view from outside can be clearer than the one from within.
2
May
Clearing your head. Wednesday May 2, 2012
The other evening a friend phoned out of the blue to suggest meeting for a drink just about straight away.
Although not everyone enjoys spontaneous arrangements like this, I love 'em, so an hour later we were chatting over a pint.
It turns out that he'd had a difficult couple of days, and was keen to talk things through, which is what we did. And then the conversation moved on, leaving us chatting about other matters for the remainder of the evening.
As we stood up to leave, I asked him how he was now feeling. It's not rocket science but he admitted feeling a lot better simply because he'd spent a couple of hours not thinking about his problems.
I'm with him on the power of this idea.
Negative thoughts have a way of consuming you like ivy insidiously choking a ruined building. They take over, they go round and round, and they often become blown up out of all proportion in the process.
This is when it really does pay to take advantage of our ability to think about no more than one thing at a time. Get engrossed in a really good conversation or a really good movie or a really good book and you'll leave no room for bad thoughts.
Of course it may only be a temporary relief. It's not, after all, going to change whatever is that you're worried about. However it might well give you a fresh perspective.
It's easy to sit and ruminate, but far more helpful to give yourself a bit of light relief by occupying yourself with something completely different.
Cheers.
1
May
Mayday. Mayday. Tuesday May 1, 2012
May 1st. May Day. As well as a significant calendar date, Mayday is of course also the international distress signal in voice communications, inspired by the French m'aider (help me).
Although we don't always actually do so, there are times when all of us would be well advised to ask for help.
It makes sense to ask an assistant when you can't find something in the supermarket. If your car is making an ominous knocking noise, it's a good idea to take it to the garage.
It's much harder to seek help when you're struggling inside, though.
Perhaps you're faced with making a difficult decision. Maybe you're battling an intransigent low mood. You could be mightily anxious about a developing situation.
Asking for help in such circumstances is never easy. It might even feel like an admission of defeat or weakness.
But it's neither of those.
Imagine how you'd feel if a good friend asked you for YOUR help. You'd probably be pleased that they'd 'chosen' you, maybe even a little honoured. You'd know that your clear head and sense of perspective would very likely help your friend make sense of things.
Just as it's really not a good thing to go on a wild goose chase in the supermarket aisles when you're looking for the raisins, neither is it sensible to battle on with feelings of anxiety or low mood without asking someone to lend a hand.
So when you need help, just ask.
And the raisins? Try aisle 9.
30
April
Your strengths. Monday April 30, 2012
In general, shot-putters make poor synchronised swimmers.
Most pole-vaulters are unlikely to double up as cyclists in the velodrome.
If you're Usain Bolt, you don't aim for medals on the trampoline, you just run like the wind.
Seems obvious, doesn't it?
When the London Olympics kick off in around three months' time, it goes without saying that the athletes will know their strengths and stick to them.
But while they're not necessarily of Olympian scale, we all have things we're good at. Too often we can be inclined to forget this however, and even world-class athletes only stay that way by training every day, honing their skill and building their strength.
So then, those things you do well. Do you do them enough? Do you, perhaps, do them at all?
When you have a moment, why not run through a quick inventory of your strengths? What would someone who knows you well say are your strongest qualities?
Perhaps it's making things. Or making people laugh. Or empathising with others. Or learning. Or teaching.
Writing. Cooking. Running. Dreaming, even.
Don't stop when you've identified them. Put them into practice.
29
April
Spuddy fascinating. Sunday April 29, 2012
It takes a special kind of teacher to let you stand at the classroom sink grating potatoes while all around your classmates are studying history, and 45 years ago Mrs Greig was just that.
A special kind of teacher, a very special kind.
She taught me for my last two years at primary school, and among other achievements she helped me experience the exhilaration of exploring new ideas with single-minded determination.
Quite how it began I don't recall, but I'd developed a fascination for glue (not the sniffable kind, you understand, these are innocent times I'm talking about) and between us we'd discussed the possibility that you might be able to turn a humble potato into strong adhesive.
The process involved grating up a heap of spuds, placing the outcome in cold water, running this through a sieve, then filtering the mixture to capture the starch which - finally - had boiling water poured on it to produce the end result. Glue.
What I remember above all was Mrs Greig understanding my enthusiasm and giving me carte blanche to carry out my manufacturing mission when really I should have been learning about Tudor England.
The feeling you get when your curiosity inspires you to seek out an explanation, and perhaps to go somewhere or do something as a result, is a powerful one, and a great way to give yourself a boost.
So be on the lookout for things that make you go 'Huh?' today, then happily spend a little time searching out some answers.
It's fabulous to do this. As Mrs Greig knew all along.
28
April
Down with robots. Saturday April 28, 2012
Absence, it's said, makes the heart grow fonder. In other words, the lack of something increases the desire for it.
Rather curiously I thought of this the other day when I was food shopping. In the UK my local supermarkets are regretfully in a race to install self-service check-outs.
I suspect they'll be adopted more slowly in the US where it's still customary for the store to pack your bags for you, a courtesy British supermarkets dumped unceremoniously years ago as soon as they could. (The exception being when they allow representatives of local community groups to stand and pack, with the expectation that you'll somewhat guiltily drop a few coins in their collecting bucket.)
For the retailers it's very simple. Robot check-outs (the kind that accuse you of placing an 'unexpected item in bagging area') are cheaper than real-life flesh and blood people, so out with the humans and in with the machines.
How sad. How soul-destroying. And, just possibly, how stupid.
Humans are sociable animals. We need to interact with others of our species. We thrive on contact with people, even if it's just the few odd words as our shopping gets pulled from the conveyor belt across the till's twinkling red laser eye.
And I predict that we may choose to vote with our wallets, taking our business to the first shop to understand that we really don't want to enter and leave it (after being relieved of our money) without having spoken to a soul.
The more contact with others you have today, the better you'll feel. So just for once, if you're faced with a robot, join the queue to be attended to by a human - even if it means waiting a little longer.
At the end of the day we're people who need people.