Jon's blog
6
February
Journey of a thousand smiles. Monday February 6, 2012
OK. Let's suppose you're having a bad day - a really bad day - and out of the blue someone tells you a joke, or you see something funny online or on TV.
You laugh.
Does this change your underlying mood? Is everything immediately fine and dandy again?
No, of course it isn't. But yes, perhaps it is a little.
If you've been eating a poor diet for too long, one slice of raw carrot isn't suddenly going to improve your health. But multiply this effect into several days of food that's better for you, and things will unquestionably improve.
The trick, I think, is in not turning your back on that small first chink of light in the mistaken assumption that nothing (NOTHING) will help.
Building a better state of mind is hardly ever the result of one large intervention, but a gradual process building on a range of different inputs.
A laugh here, a hug there, little conversations everywhere.
So the next time you're mired in the glums, don't dismiss that involuntary chuckle as meaningless.
It, and other perhaps tiny slices of positivity, are what will conspire to lift you back to where you belong.
5
February
Shared experiences. Sunday February 5, 2012
Some do, others don't.
No, not flossing. I'm thinking about the Moodscope feature which lets you nominate other people to receive automatic notifications every time you record a score - what we call your Moodscope buddies.
A couple of days ago psychologist Professor Seth Roberts - one of the world's leading experts in the fascinating area of self-experimentation and self-tracking - asked me what we know about possible changes to people's mood scores if and when they start sharing them.
Now we've got a seriously sizeable data mountain, so it's pretty easy to give Seth hard number evidence.
But we figured it could also be interesting to actually ask our trusty Moodscopers to relate their own experiences. So if you're a sharer, this means you please.
To make things easy (and transparent) we've set up a purpose-built one-page blog on which you can post your thoughts about score sharing, and see what others say too.
Heck, if you're not a sharer, we'd be interested in your views also. Why don't you share? What might make you do so?
Mainly, however, today's focus is on finding out more about what if anything happens to people's scores once they decide to share them.
Here's where we're at:
http://moodscope.blogspot.com/
Knowing our Moodscopers as I do, I'm certain there'll be some fascinating learning there in the next 24 hours or so. So please feel free to post, and definitely feel free to read.
4
February
Actions speak louder than intentions. Saturday February 4, 2012
The other day a newspaper had an article about 'To Do' lists. No doubt about it, they can help you organise your thoughts and prioritise things.
But at times they can also loom over you like a scary monster.
There may sometimes be days when the very act of getting from morning to evening can seem a monumental effort.
Add to this the expectation that you will also cross things off a long To Do list and you're virtually certain to set yourself up for disappointment.
One thought I did like in the article was that there's always sense in recognising that some items on your list can be actions, while others are simply intentions.
Good to have the latter, but not so great if they distract you from day to day priorities.
You may, for instance, want to learn a new language, but you also have bills to pay and wellbeing (your own especially) to take care of.
The language lessons can almost certainly wait. But the bills and wellbeing can't.
So if things aren't perfect for you anytime soon, please remember that it makes sense to focus on a very few real priorities.
For the rest, there's always Google Translate.
3
February
Gloomsters. Friday February 3, 2012
Although I'm personally not a prolific Twitter or Facebook poster, I check both sites on a pretty regular basis to see what friends and those I follow are up to.
It's fascinating to recognise two very different styles amongst those who are prodigious in their content generation. It seems some people are overwhelmingly positive and light-hearted in their posts while others consistently dwell on the negative.
And I suppose this online behaviour just reflects real life. I'm sure we all know people who appear to radiate light wherever they go, and others who cast a sense of grey glumness over everything in sight.
Social media makes it relatively easy to avoid seeing the posts of gloom-mongers, if you wish.
Not so simple in the real world however, particularly if they're people with whom you need to have regular contact with, for one reason or another.
Although emotions are contagious (if you're not careful, someone else's misery can get through to you too) it seems to help if you're determined to see someone else's burden as something you can help with, rather than needing to take its full weight on your own shoulders.
Just as they seemingly can't deal with it on their own, neither will you be able to.
Share the load, by all means, but don't try to carry it for them.
2
February
Shut it. Thursday February 2, 2012
You sometimes hear people say that they're 'closing the door' on a certain incident, or a particular part of their life.
They're putting it behind them, moving on from it.
Although closing the door is a figure of speech, it's also something you physically do plenty of times a day.
Generally a good idea, too, if you want your valuables to be still there when you get home.
However I reckon you can link the physical action with its figure of speech meaning, whenever you need to.
It often makes sense to compartmentalise life so that certain parts are in certain boxes, and you're not trying to cope with all your stuff all at once.
Gets tricky, that.
So if you've been worrying about something while you've been driving, literally tell yourself that you'll leave it in the car as you shut the door.
If work's getting to you, reassure yourself that you're putting it behind you as the door closes at the end of the day.
Last one out? Lock it and bolt it too.
1
February
Snap judgements. Wednesday February 1, 2012
Believe it or not, I've only just acquired a phone with a built-in camera.
I know, I know. They've been around for years, but for various reasons my personal communications device remained in the dark ages. Not quite 80s-style brick-sized cellphone, but almost.
Now I'm bang up to date however, with a snazzy phone that does just about everything except make the tea, although there's probably an app for that.
I tell you this not to brag, but simply to pass on an observation.
As I walked down the road yesterday, new phone in pocket, I looked round for things to take photos of.
It struck me that in hunting for camera-worthy subject matter, I was actually looking at things differently.
I was taking considerably more notice of my surroundings, and that's almost certainly a good thing to do mindset-wise.
It's so easy to retreat into our own thoughts. To focus inwards only. To spend far too much time with the lens facing away from where the real action is.
If you have the opportunity, why not adopt a photographer's eye when you take your next walk?
There's a lot of interesting stuff out there just begging to be enjoyed.
31
January
Frogs will be frogs. Tuesday January 31, 2012
Kermit had a point when he grumbled that it's not easy being green.
His argument was that being green made him blend in with so many things, which kind of ignores the evolutionary benefits of camouflage, but we do get what he meant.
The big thing of course is that Kermit was, is, and always will be green.
You're a frog for goodness' sake, man.
It's easy to believe that things would be different for you if they weren't as they are.
You'd be happier if you did this or that. You'd be better off if things were different. You'd be more content if only, if only.
Sometimes, of course, change is possible. But only sometimes.
So if you can't change something, isn't it better to simply accept it?
If you're a frog, you're green, and that's the way it's always going to be.
Only a muppet could disagree with that.
30
January
Carry your bags? Monday January 30, 2012
I like to think that when someone pauses forlornly at the foot of a long staircase in a railway station, loaded down with suitcases, it won't be too long before some good Samaritan offers help.
Perhaps it's an idealistic way of viewing the world, but the bigger point I think is that when people can actually see you have a problem they're more likely to come to your aid.
If it's obvious that you're struggling, it's more or less human nature (or jolly well should be) for others to lend their support.
But whilst this theory may hold water, it only does so up to a point.
What happens, for instance, when you're struggling inside? Heavy baggage doesn't always take the form of suitcases.
When your load is mental rather than physical, it may not be evident to those around you.
And it's at times like these that you may need to ask for help rather than simply expecting it to be offered on a plate.
Don't struggle on alone when you need a hand. Do ask for it.
29
January
Sweet anticipation. Sunday January 29, 2012
As a kid, there's always something to look forward to.
Christmas, your birthday, the weekend, summer, winter, spring, autumn. A new bike.
Generally a kid's life is one big bubble of anticipation, tinged with the frustration that nothing ever comes as soon as you want it to.
But as the years pass by, it can sometimes seem that there's less to look forward to. Life may feel humdrum, with a distinct absence of carrots dangling at the end of the stick.
However perhaps there's a little, not unreasonable, trick that you can play on yourself.
Often we gain even more pleasure anticipating something than we do actually experiencing it.
So if it feels as though there are no big things to look forward to, actively anticipate the smaller.
When you're working, imagine how good it will feel when you down tools at the end of the day.
Going to speak to a friend over the next few days? Visualise how warming this will be.
Reading a good book at the moment? Start to anticipate the pleasure of getting stuck back into it before you actually do.
Even when you're not a kid, there's still always something to look forward to.
Sometimes, though, you just need to seek it out.
28
January
Kindness. Saturday January 28, 2012
Setting out just now to write a few lines about kindness, I decided I'd first check the origin of the word 'kind'.
Now I probably should have thought about this before, but there's (I suppose obviously) shared heritage between the words 'kind' and 'kin'. 'Kin' meaning family.
So technically if I tell you that you've been very kind to me, I'm letting you know that you've treated me as if we were both from the same family - which is all rather heartening, I reckon.
Although there's probably not enough kindness in the world, it's a resource that's theoretically unlimited. Unlike coal, oil or gas it needn't necessarily run out, as long as you and I keep generating it.
In general, kindness is contagious. If you're kind to me, I'm more likely to be kind to someone else, and they're more likely to pass it on to others too.
Even better, kindness is a gift that rewards the giver. When you show kindness to another person, your own reward system is also given a boost.
Great acts of kindness are fantastic. But lots of little acts build up to produce a similar effect too.
Why not be kind to yourself today, by being kind to others?
27
January
Seeing into the future? Friday January 27, 2012
The other day the psychologist Richard Wiseman (@RichardWiseman) tweeted that he might plan to start a lecture on Precognition by asking the audience 'Any questions?'.
Whether or not you believe that we really can know what's going to happen in advance, there's no doubt that there's a lot of the other 'pre-' type of thinking - preconception - about.
All too often we go into situations believing we know how they'll turn out, and of course this sort of attitude easily turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Perhaps you're feeling low, but get persuaded to attend some kind of social event. On your way there, you fret that you'll hate it, that you'll feel ignored, that you'll just make your excuses and leave.
And nine times out of ten this is exactly what ends up happening.
I know how hard it can be to reject the voice of unreason, but life is often a lot sunnier when you do.
So here's a thought then. How about making a determined effort to keep an open mind today, whenever that's possible?
(I know, I know, you knew I was going to say that.)
26
January
To persevere or not to persevere. Thursday January 26, 2012
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
So suggested American educator Thomas Payne in his 'Teacher's Manual' published in the first half of the 19th century.
Persistence, he argued, was the name of the game. Stick at things and you'll get there, was his advice.
I reckon he was largely right.
But only largely.
Whilst there are times when tenacity clearly pays off, now and again it can also be the case that a different approach is called for.
It'll take you a long time to bang nails in with a screwdriver, for instance, but switch to a hammer and the job will be done in a jiffy.
Someone (it may have been the author Rita Mae Brown, although some suggest it could have been dear old Albert Einstein) said that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing day after day and expecting a different result.
So which way is best? Well, both probably.
Focus and perseverance have a lot going for them.
But when things really aren't working, so does stopping, thinking, and adopting a different approach.
25
January
Slow change coming. Wednesday January 25, 2012
Broadly it seems as though there are two different ways in which a car can go kaput.
There's the one in cartoons where all four wheels fall off simultaneously, dumping the vehicle into the dirt.
Then there's the other insidiously creeping way where day by day, bit by bit, a squeak turns into a rattle, which turns into a grinding, which ultimately stops your car starting.
Moodscope's new graph (which also - hooray - now works on non-Flash devices such as iPads) may just provide you with the evidence that your own mood can change in a similar style.
Whereas we only used to give you a view of each calendar month, you can now conjure up a chart of your data over any period of your choice.
This makes it far easier to see the ebbs and flows, and in some cases you may be as astonished as I was to see how glacially slowly mood can change (both for the worse or the better).
Although it can sometimes seem that your score mildly oscillates about a fixed mark, longer-term trends can be eye opening.
Of course the opposite can also be true. An unexpected misfortune can send you crashing, while some delightful event can make your heart sing.
For me, one of my graph's biggest comforts is to show me that no bad time is for ever and, just as scores can go down, so will they also go up.
24
January
Blooming interesting. Tuesday January 24, 2012
The other day we heard from Ali, a Moodscoper with an intriguing take on things, which I'm delighted to pass on.
Like a lot of people, Ali loves having a vase of flowers in her home.
In her email to us she goes on to say:
'If there are seven in the vase and one dies, I take it out and throw it away so I can carry on enjoying the other six.
'I wouldn't throw away the whole bunch because one was ruined would I?
'In the same way, if I have a bad day I write it off as a failure at the end, but I don't give up on the rest of the week. That would be like throwing out all seven flowers at once, wouldn't it?'
What a lovely suggestion.
When something (or some day) goes wrong, there can be a tendency to catastrophise, to assume that the whole house of cards is crashing down when in reality the damage is generally only limited.
Too right Ali.
Better to have a vase which is six-sevenths full rather than an empty one.
23
January
Train of thought. Monday January 23, 2012
The other day I was pondering on how great it might be to have a personal mood trainer.
In much the same way that people appoint personal trainers to pep up their fitness, I love the idea of having a coach who'd encourage you each day to accomplish the things that can lead to a healthier and happier mind.
Any good fitness trainer begins by assessing their 'client', then day by day gets them doing more and more.
One more push-up. Another minute of jogging. Another length of the pool.
Over time these small steps become large leaps. Bit by bit seems the way to go.
I think a mood coach might encourage you to adopt a similar approach. I believe they'd gently push you to take one more, perhaps small, initiative today than you did yesterday. The same tomorrow.
It might be even slower than that, incremental change happening over weeks rather than days.
But I reckon that the key focus would be on upping your game a little at a time.
So what small step might make you feel the tiniest bit better today?
Why not try it?
Then just a little more of the same tomorrow.
22
January
How you look, how you feel. Sunday January 22, 2012
In an especially bleak track on the 1971 album 'Imagine', John Lennon sang 'One thing you can't hide, is when you're crippled inside'.
Yikes.
But is it always true?
While some do go round with their emotions hanging out, I'm sure there are many more who keep things to themselves.
I know I do. In fact sometimes I reckon there must be (at least) two very different Jons.
There's the public one, for whom everything appears fine and dandy, then a private one who occasionally sees things through a glass darkly.
In the past I've been staggered when I've felt at breaking point inside, yet others I've come into contact with have seemed utterly oblivious to my inner turmoil, often launching into some inconsequential story while a voice inside you is screaming - for God's sake, can't you see how wretched I'm feeling?
The trouble is, they can't.
They don't know what's going on in your mind. They have absolutely no idea of what you're going through.
So how do you handle this? Well sometimes I think you just have to let it go. Make your excuses and move on.
But if it's someone who matters to you, now and again it makes sense to open up.
Sometimes, it seems, you could be better at hiding it than you imagine.
21
January
Hike-o-therapy. Saturday January 21, 2012
The Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson is an excellent read. Thoroughly enjoyable and thought-provoking.
Although I thought I already knew a fair bit about the founder of Apple's life, one tidbit that had passed me by was his tendency to take long (very long) walks with someone when he wanted a serious conversation.
It came to mind the other day when I spent a couple of hours with my friend Katie, walking and talking.
We were doing laps around a park, but were so engaged with chatting that I honestly couldn't tell you how many times we went round it. Marvellous.
Walking alongside someone seems to result in an entirely different (and often far more enriching) type of conversation than one in which you're face to face.
Actually, talking to someone in a car when one of you is driving a long distance can be similarly rewarding.
I reckon you tune into each much more effectively. You listen more intently. You see things more clearly.
And (double win) if you're walking, you benefit from some exercise.
To boot.
If you're fortunate enough to be able-bodied, maybe it's time to call up a friend, then put your collective best feet forward?
20
January
Another point of view. Friday January 20, 2012
Imagine this. I ask you to close your eyes, then open them again after I've placed an object immediately in front of you.
As you focus on it, you see a white square whose sides are roughly a metre long.
That's it. A white square.
Now I get someone else to stand a couple of metres to your right, and you ask them what they see.
'No problem,' they say, 'it's a white cube.'
Aha. From where you were standing it was a square. From where they were, though, it had depth. It was something else altogether.
You and I have our own views of the world. We see things through the filters of our experiences and sometimes (I have to confess) our prejudices and misjudgements.
And this is never more so than when it comes to trying to solve some huge problem or dilemma that you're experiencing.
You see things as you think they are, convincing yourself that your way is the only way.
To discover the real truth, though, perhaps nothing beats learning from the view of someone who's close, but just that little bit further away from it all than you are.
19
January
Building Rome. Thursday January 19, 2012
If Rome wasn't built in a day, how long did it take?
As I was writing this, Wikipedia was shut for 24 hours, but a spot of Googling other sources suggests it either took around 500 years, or (more precisely) it's actually still being built and so will never be finished.
There's a heck of a lot of difference between a day and 500 years, isn't there?
Historical town-planning ponderings aside, the 'it wasn't built in a day' thought is probably a good one to dig out if you're down in the dumps.
When you feel that way, it would clearly be brilliant for someone to wave a magic wand, making everything immediately wonderful. But it doesn't work like that does it?
Looking at my own Moodscope graph it's clear that recovery after a crash is generally a pretty slow process.
It doesn't stop you being impatient though. And this is not helpful.
So the next time you feel life closing in on you, it's probably best not to expect miracles. Do, however, take small steps - or preferably just ONE small step - each day that has the potential to make you feel just a little better the next.
Connect with other people. Get out in nature. Do something to help someone. Focus on three things for which you feel gratitude. Eat something healthy.
Don't try and do all of the above. It'll be too much.
Do think about that one small step though.
18
January
Coffee and doughnuts. Wednesday January 18, 2012
For the last few months I've frequently nodded and said hello to a gentleman who's often in 'my' coffee shop in the mornings.
After exchanging the odd word here and there, I knew just a little about him - all I thought I needed to, perhaps.
But the other day something triggered him to be more talkative so we ended up having quite a conversation.
He wanted to know what I did for a living, so I told him about Moodscope. In return I discovered that he sells doughnuts.
(I guess this means he's in the hole-sale business.)
Then (the tricky bit) we did that thing where you ask one another what your name is. Why is this so difficult when it's been quite a while since you've known someone on a casual but no-names basis?
Anyway the result was a connection made, and a small boost for both of us.
I've no doubt there are people like this in your life too. Maybe you acknowledge one other but have never really spoken properly?
So why not step a little outside your comfort zone next time your paths cross, therefore?
Strike up a conversation. Find out their name. Tell them yours.
It's the little connections which can make life the rich tapestry it has the potential to be.